


ad esse optimum

by hyucksdream



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Football, Alternate Universe - High School, American Football, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, football players nohyuck, one sided hate, one sided jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23974276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyucksdream/pseuds/hyucksdream
Summary: Donghyuck presses on, “You only came to Sunset to steal my position, didn’t you? You knew you were the best QB at Northview, and you just had to prove that you are the best quarterback in the entire district, right?"(or, the one where donghyuck hates jeno, while jeno's harboring a secret crush on donghyuck. and the worst part? donghyuck shows up to football practice every day prepared for a fight, while jeno is hoping for friendship.)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Comments: 29
Kudos: 215





	ad esse optimum

Donghyuck’s lips split into a wide smile as he sees his younger friends trudge onto the field. The turf is firm below their cleats and the stability is welcoming to Donghyuck. Jisung rolls his eyes at Donghyuck’s big grin but Chenle smiles right back, nudging Donghyuck gently on his way to the field. The sun is warm and beats down on Donghyuck’s already tanned skin, and he knows: this will be their season. 

It’s Donghyuck’s senior year anyway, and their team has done a considerable amount of improvement over the summer. Donghyuck grabs the football, aligning the pads of his fingers with the stitches on the thick leather, the familiar weight therapeutic. 

“Heads up, Zhong!” Donghyuck yells before winding his arm back and throwing the ball, following the throw through before turning to look at Chenle. 

The older drops his backpack to catch the ball, but Jisung leaps forward to snatch the ball out of the air before it ends up meeting Chenle’s nose. 

“And this is why you’re not captain, Hyuck,” Jisung says with a joking smile, though the words still sting a bit. 

“Stop it, Sung,” Chenle nudges Jisung hard before grabbing the ball from his hand. He tosses it back to Donghyuck, who catches it with ease, even though the smile has left Donghyuck’s face. 

His good spirits lowered, Donghyuck lifts his water bottle and heads towards the locker room, wondering where exactly their captain is.

It’s no secret that Donghyuck has been striving for the captain position since he first stepped onto this field as a junior varsity player in middle school. He’s been insistent and demanding of himself, to the point where practice occasionally does him more harm than benefit, but it’s all for a goal. He’s climbed the ranks impressively — he was a substitute for varsity at the beginning of his freshman year, then joined varsity during his second semester of freshman year. He’s had hundreds of scouts come watch him play, and he’s even gotten a few minor offers for university. One might even say that he was the best quarterback that Sunset High School had ever seen—until Jeno Lee joined the team, that is. 

Jeno Lee, Jeno Lee. A mystery, a friend, and until a year ago, a rival. If Donghyuck was the best quarterback at Sunset High, Jeno was the best quarterback in the entire district. It was impossible not to compare himself to Jeno, but it hadn’t been a big deal until he transferred to Sunset and they were teammates competing for the same position. It was a lot of push and pull, and in the end, Donghyuck gave. 

He’s not angry about it, and he’s gotten over it, for sure. No spontaneous bursts of envy directed at Jeno during practice, definitely no jealousy when his teammates call Jeno captain, and absolutely no infuriation when he sees Jeno’s unbothered bright smile each day at practice. 

Like now. 

Jeno is all smiles, as usual, as he walks onto the field with a couple of nets full of cones and pinnies. His grin grows when he catches Donghyuck’s eye, and he makes his way over, dropping the nets on the ground next to the bench at the edge of the turf. 

“Donghyuck! How did you feel about the test this morning? I think I did horrible. I know I messed up on the last two questions. I couldn’t remember how to calculate half-life and then I screwed up some of the conversions,” Jeno’s talking at a mile a minute and it takes Donghyuck a second to catch up. 

He shoves his thoughts back into his head, mentally reminding himself that like it or not, Jeno Lee is one of Donghyuck’s best friends, and jealousy aside, a pretty damn great guy. 

“Wait, I think I messed up on the last one too. Do you wanna study at my house later? I’ve been procrastinating on our homework all week,” Donghyuck asks, feeling a smile of his own bloom at Jeno’s nods. It’s not quite like Donghyuck wants to spend more time than usual with Jeno, but he and Jeno have been studying together since Jeno moved here. 

Jeno is far smarter than Donghyuck, so Donghyuck isn’t quite sure why he would need help with schoolwork, but Donghyuck isn’t too bothered. He instead pats Jeno’s shoulder on his way to the bench, meeting their coach, a tall, purely soft man who simultaneously wouldn’t hesitate to kick your ass, and pays attention as he starts going over details from their last scrimmage. 

For some reason, his mind keeps going back to Jeno’s smile from before, and how the bright sunlight hit his forehead, bringing out the honey in his eyes. 

He shakes his head and focuses on Jeno as he leads stretches. Jisung nudges him and gives him a curious look, but Donghyuck just shakes his head again and looks back down.

Practice goes by quickly, for the most part, a blur of tackle drills and scrimmaging against the JV team. Donghyuck’s used to playing wide receiver by now, but the learning curve was steep last year. He hated Jeno for storming in and taking everything that was meant to be his, including his friends, but now he’s semi-grateful to Jeno because he loves playing wide receiver, a position he only got because Jeno swooped in to take over Donghyuck’s QB position. 

He’s always had a strong arm, which was why he thought quarterback would be the position for him, and he did do well as quarterback. Outstanding, even. But he was agile and had good coordination, skills that were better put to use as a wide receiver. He excelled as a wide receiver, which was likely the only reason Donghyuck had even become somewhat civil with Jeno. 

He meets Jeno at the entrance of the locker room, the two of them freshly showered and changed. Jeno’s damp hair is wavy and adds to Jeno’s innocent, cute look. It’s funny how different Jeno is on the field. He only has eyes for the game while on the field, aggressive at all the right times and a leader to every boy out there, but off it, he’s helpful, kind, and a good role model. It’s jarring to see. 

“Jeno! Donghyuck! Can you guys help me with my math homework?” Jisung asks, holding his own backpack and pouting up at Jeno. “Chenle has volunteering or something and can’t help.”

Jeno sends Donghyuck a questioning look and Donghyuck nods. 

“Yeah, Donghyuck and I were just about to work on our own homework. I need his help with my chem homework,” Jeno starts walking with Jisung, and it takes Donghyuck a moment to grab his own belongings and jog after them.

He walks a couple of steps behind them, taking his time to think. There’s a weird weight at the bottom of his stomach, almost like he’s disappointed about something. He isn’t sure what he would be disappointed about, but it intensifies when he sees Jeno’s arm slung around Jisung’s shoulders as they walk back to the parking lot. Donghyuck figures he’s just hungry and files the thought away. He doesn’t need to be extra distracted while doing homework. His grades are already on the fence, and it’s only the first week of school. His senior year’s off to a great start, in his opinion. 

—

The first Friday of the school year brings about the first football game of the season. Donghyuck’s feeling a little sentimental tonight, with good reason. It’s the first football game of his last season of high school, and possibly his last season ever. He’s jittery in a way he hasn’t been since he was a freshman walking onto the field for his first varsity game ever. The locker room is as noisy as ever, excited underclassmen hyping up the rest of the team. There’s a noticeable silence among the seniors as they get dressed. 

Donghyuck pulls on his pants and shoulder pads, lacing his cleats tightly. He’s been through these motions countless times, he could put his gear on in his sleep, but it feels different this time. This season is important for him. Not only because of his future but because he can finally allow himself to have fun on the field with his best friends. Donghyuck shuts his locker and grabs his helmet, glancing around the locker room before slipping out onto the field, already finding Jeno out there, talking to Coach Suh while they wait for the rest of the team. 

“Donghyuck!” he hears from the stands. He looks up to see the student section completely filled, everyone decked out in their school colors, gold and white. The entire front row is full of people dressed in sun costumes, looking undeniably silly. Still, Donghyuck relaxes at the familiar sight. People are here to support him and the rest of the team. 

He looks towards the side of the front row, eyes landing on a noticeably shorter guy dressed in the sun costumes. “Hey Renjun! I can barely see you, the sun costume is a little big!”

The look Renjun sends him shuts him right up and he raises his hands in apology. “Good luck, Hyuck. Kick some butt,” Renjun yells loudly, eliciting cheers and whoops from the rest of the student section, further relaxing Donghyuck’s tense muscles.

Donghyuck grins and turns back to the team. It’s almost creepy how Renjun always knows exactly what Donghyuck needs and exactly when he needs it. He throws one last glance towards the student section, pointedly avoiding the parent section before joining the rest of the team in their stretches. 

They’re playing a team from a smaller school today, one that should give them an easy win, if they play their cards right. They had a close call with this team last year, one that was honestly disappointing, even to some of the underclassmen who thought any win was a win. The team heard an earful that night instead of celebrating, and Coach has drilled it into their head that offense needs to make sure that there’s more than one field goal’s difference in their scores. 

Donghyuck is ready and he knows the rest of the team is ready as well. They’re ready to embark on a path straight to success. All they have to do now is play their hearts out make sure this season gets off to a good start. 

Donghyuck runs faster than he usually does during their warmup laps because he ate a little too much before the game, and he’s starting to feel nauseous. Either that, or he’s getting unexpectedly nervous. 

“What’s up? You aren’t usually this quiet before games,” Jeno notes as he catches up to Donghyuck. 

Damn Jeno for being so observant and always looking out for his teammates. 

“I’m not nervous,” Donghyuck says, keeping pace with Jeno. 

“I didn’t say you were,” Donghyuck looks over at Jeno and catches the amused smile on his lips.

Damn Jeno for causing Donghyuck to spill his feelings. 

“You know we’re gonna be fine, right? We’ve practiced hard this summer. This is gonna be our season,” Jeno says, sounding like he means every word of his statement. 

Donghyuck manages a nod and pushes his legs a little faster, putting some distance between him and Jeno. 

There are three minutes until kickoff, and the ref calls the captains up just as Coach finishes going over plays one last time, sending them off with an encouraging pep talk. 

Jeno turns and sends everyone a reassuring smile coupled with a thumbs up, and damn Jeno because Donghyuck feels his stomach muscles ease and relax as a result. 

The visiting team chooses to kick, so the Sunset Strikers get to play defense first. These are all familiar motions, things that Donghyuck has seen countless times since he was a little boy, but he still can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that this is his last high school season. There’s excitement twisting around with the nerves, and Donghyuck shoves in his mouthguard as he takes his position on the field. 

It’s silent, save for a few isolated cheers from the stands. Even the cheerleaders are quiet. This is it. It’s the official beginning of the end. Donghyuck takes a deep breath and the referee blows the whistle, starting the clock. 

The second half is when things start to pick up, and it’s only at the end of the third quarter when the other team even starts to pose a threat. The score is in favor of the Strikers, 24-14. The gap is big enough that no one on defense is very worried, but of course, offense wants to increase the gap. 

The other team has been playing nice for the most part, there haven’t been any penalties for either team so far, and overall, it’s a mellow game. Jeno’s made quite a few successful passes to Donghyuck, and he has made quite a few good runs and passes. 

The visiting team subs in new players that are ready for some action, judging by their stony expressions under their helmets. Donghyuck was out second quarter so he’s in for the rest of the game. Jeno gets subbed in as well and Donghyuck pulls in a deep breath, steadying himself. He won’t lie and say that he plays better with Chenle as quarterback, but they are close and have a good understanding of each other’s skills, but while Chenle tends to play it safer during the last quarter, Donghyuck plays rough and puts his all on the table. 

That’s where Jeno comes in. Jeno is just as risky as Donghyuck and isn’t afraid to create new plays on the spot, knowing that Donghyuck is fine with running new routes without notice. It’s a tiring method, and it takes all of Donghyuck’s concentration, but it pays off more often than not. 

Fourth quarter starts without a hitch, Jisung snapping the ball back to Jeno, sending Donghyuck running down the field. Jeno passes to Donghyuck and Donghyuck slots it against his side as he sprints down the sideline. He’s ran about thirty yards before he’s pushed out of bounds by his cornerback, tumbling down towards the turf quickly. 

Donghyuck huffs as he makes contact with the turf, then he’s back up again. He checks the scoreboard. They have three minutes left. The score is still 24-14. Donghyuck doesn’t think he would have a problem if the game ended here—his pained limbs agree—but he knows Coach would have his head if he didn’t at least try for another touchdown. 

They still have two downs left, and making a touchdown in three minutes is plenty feasible. But Donghyuck hasn’t played a full half since the beginning of the summer, and scrimmages can only do so much. He’s exhausted, he’s run route after route, looking for some way to get the ball into the end zone, sometimes achieving it and sometimes failing. On top of that, he and Jeno had some mishaps in the first half; several fumbles, and a few intersections had foiled their plays, which was irritating.    
“Hook and ladder!” Jeno calls the play as the ball lands in his hand. 

Donghyuck pushes through his fatigue, taking off at a brisk run as he fights to get open, knowing that Jeno will likely be passing the ball to him. 

Instead, Jeno doesn’t. Jeno catches his eye before looking the other way. With thirty seconds on the clock, Jeno throws the ball to Yangyang, the other wide receiver, who currently isn’t open. Yangyang’s cornerback easily intercepts the ball and the ref calls it. 

Donghyuck isn’t sure he’s breathing. He was  _ completely open _ , there was no reason that Jeno shouldn’t have passed to him. He knows that Jeno saw him, they made eye contact, and Jeno isn’t stupid. He had to have seen that there was no one on Donghyuck at that moment, yet he didn’t pass to him. There’s only one reasonable conclusion. Jeno didn’t pass to him on purpose, but why? Donghyuck’s jaw works as he makes his way back to the 20-yard line. 

When the ref finally blows his whistle, calling the game, the sky above the stadium is nearly completely dark. It’s still warm out, and the students in the bleachers go wild as the score is finalized, the win going to the home team, the Sunset Strikers. 

The team dogpiles on top of Jeno, and Donghyuck halfheartedly joins, tossing himself on top of Jisung. His heart isn’t in it, though he can’t decipher if it’s because of exhaustion or Jeno’s failed play. 

He heads into the showers as soon as he can, patting and fist-bumping his teammates on his way into the locker room.

He turns the water to scalding and focuses on calming himself. Steam fills the air in front of him, and he takes his time in washing his hair and scrubbing his body clean, washing off all of the day’s grime and problems. He knows they have a victory. One mistake on Jeno’s part shouldn’t ruin the night for him. Though a small part of Donghyuck doesn’t believe that Jeno could ever make a mistake like that. 

He waits until he hears yells of victorious congratulations and the sound of the other showers turning on before he steps out of the shower, toweling his hair off and getting dressed as quickly as possible. All he really wants to do is confront Jeno, but he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it on the first night of their official season, so he settles for leaving early.

“Donghyuck, can we talk?” Coach Suh’s voice is gentle, maybe softer than Donghyuck’s ever heard it, and it immediately alarms him. He isn’t sure what idea Coach has got from his behavior tonight, and he isn’t sure he wants to find out. 

“I-um, I think I’m getting sick, Coach. I think I’m gonna head home and go to bed. See you Monday, have a good weekend!” Donghyuck stumbles over his words and makes for the door of the locker room, running smack into Renjun, still dressed in his sun costume. 

“Hey, hey, watch out. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you miss out on post-game celebrations,” Renjun puts his arms out to steady Donghyuck, and the touch is so comforting, Donghyuck can’t help but spill his thoughts. 

“Yeah, well we’ve never had our QB call a play and then proceed to fuck it up for the rest of us either,” Donghyuck spits, running a hand through his hair and pushing Renjun’s hands off him at the same time. 

“Hey, we won, Donghyuck. And besides, if Jeno called the play and fucked it up, then it’s on him. Why are you beating yourself up about it?” Renjun is, as per usual, the only voice of reason Donghyuck can stand to be around. Still, his logical reasoning is annoying to Donghyuck’s impulsive self. 

“He did it on purpose, Renjun!” Donghyuck stops walking and faces his friend. “We made eye contact, so I thought he would pass to me. I was open, and Yangyang wasn’t! Why the hell would he look me in the eye, see that I was open, then proceed to pass to someone who wasn’t open?”

“Donghyuck . . .” Renjun trails off, clearly not believing him, “I don’t think he did it on purpose. He was under a lot of pressure, you know how it is. Especially since it’s the first game.”

“I know how it is but I don’t screw over my entire team,” Donghyuck mumbles under his breath, “And Coach just stopped me and tried to talk to me, and he was so gentle and— ugh, I can’t think about it anymore,” Donghyuck shudders at the thought of Coach Suh’s gentle voice and concerned face. 

Renjun resumes walking, leaving Donghyuck to follow him, “Party at Chenle’s, we might as well go so you can blow off some steam. Maybe get laid.”

Donghyuck really isn’t in the mood, but he doesn’t mind getting shitfaced. This party will hopefully help him get his mind off things, he reasons with himself as he follows Renjun. 

—

Chenle’s house is already full by the time they get there, having stopped at Renjun’s place so he could change out of his sun costume.

The Zhong house is huge, and though Donghyuck is well accustomed to seeing it, it still takes his breath away. The three-story stone house is gorgeously modern. Donghyuck doesn’t care much about the design aspect, but he does know that there’s a half-court on one side of the backyard, and a jacuzzi on the other. It makes for a great hangout location, and Donghyuck and his friends basically spent all summer shooting hoops, cooling off with the hose, then jumping into the hot tub. 

Donghyuck and Renjun make their way into the house, pushing through the large group of people playing some weird drunken version of twister in the living room, making their way into the basement. A couple of people congratulate him on the win and he smiles, thanking them while speeding up away from them. 

Donghyuck heads straight towards the table lined with drinks, and he grabs for whatever’s closest. He justs wants to get hammered and forget the last part of today’s game. He has an inkling about why it bothers him too much, but he’d rather not think about it. 

He pulls Renjun into the throng of dancing people, easily jumping to the beat of the music, ignoring the way his calf muscles burn with every jump. It’s far too easy to let the music flow through his body, shutting his brain off and overwhelming thoughts out. 

It must be nearing two in the morning when people start to file out, the basement getting emptier with each song that plays. Renjun left Donghyuck’s side hours ago, wanting to get some fresh air, and Donghyuck assumes he got stuck talking to one of his teammates about their lack of a love life, which is an oddly recurring event. 

Donghyuck is sweaty and tired, can feel exhaustion down to his bones, and is a bit more than tipsy. He’s stumbling around and far more sociable than usual, which is already quite the feat. 

“Hey, has anyone seen Renjun? He’s this tall, has soft brown hair, and a cute face?” Donghyuck describes, pouting when he gets head shakes. “Have you guys seen Chenle? Where is everyone?”

“Check upstairs,” one of the boys says. Donghyuck vaguely recognizes him from the track team, and he nods in thanks. 

“Okay. I think I’m drunk,” he mumbles as he moves towards the stairs, struggling to find his way in the dark. 

He opens a door, but that turns out to be a bathroom, so he turns and walks towards the only source of light in the room. He successfully finds the door that leads upstairs and goes up the stairs slowly. His legs are killing him, and he’s still too drunk to really function. All he wants to do is to fall in bed and maybe get some cuddles from Renjun and Mark, who he suspiciously hasn’t seen all night. 

When he gets to the top of the stairs, he finds Chenle and Jisung sitting side by side against the wall next to the door, the two of them looking a second away from passing out.    
“Hey,” Donghyuck nudges them with his foot, “Go to sleep upstairs. It’s gross down here. And someone will probably end up drawing dicks on your faces. It’s probably gonna be me. So get upstairs!” 

Chenle shoots him an annoyed look and leans his head back on Jisung’s shoulder, kicking Donghyuck away from them, mumbling curses at him. 

Donghyuck hears laughter coming from the living room so he heads in that direction, pausing to catch his breath and get some water from the kitchen. 

When he gets into the living room, he finds Renjun sitting with Jeno on the couch. Donghyuck feels a wisp of anger curl in his stomach as Renjun laughs at something Jeno says. 

Donghyuck spots a tall green plant in the corner of the room and inches toward it, using its big leaves to cover himself, peeking through the small spaces between them.

Donghyuck knows the two of them are close, they’re really good friends—Renjun was the first one to adopt Jeno into their friend group, even after seeing how reluctant Donghyuck was, but he didn’t think Renjun liked Jeno like that. Or maybe he’s too buzzes to think straight and is making stuff up. 

They’re turned away from him, so they can’t see him, but he’s just out of earshot. He has no idea what they’re saying, but he strains his ears anyway, catching short syllables and every so often, a fragment of a sentence. 

He waits a few minutes, but at one point, Renjun bends over from laughing so hard, hand pressed against his stomach tightly, and Jeno has an affectionate smile on his face, and Donghyuck can’t take it anymore. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he stands up from his shelter behind the plant, promptly causing the leaves to snap back towards his face. He flinches and stumbles out from his hiding spot, ignoring the weird looks the few people still on the main level give him. 

“You,” he points at Jeno as he rounds the edge of the couch, stopping barely an inch from Jeno’s legs. 

“What’s up, Donghyuck?” Jeno doesn’t have any trouble meeting Donghyuck’s eyes and gives him that familiar, easy smile that infuriates Donghyuck so much.

“What the hell is your problem? Quit acting so innocent and like a team player when we know it’s not true! And stay the fuck away from my friends,” Donghyuck seethes, getting up in Jeno’s face, close enough that he can count the individual strands of hair splayed over Jeno’s forehead. 

Renjun stands, grabbing hold of Donghyuck’s hand firmly and tugging him towards the door. “Donghyuck, you’ve had a lot to drink. I’m sorry for not coming back down to you.”

“No! No, Jeno is the one who should be sorry. Why is he so smug all the time? He screwed up the game for us on purpose! It’s like he’s trying to sabotage us,” Donghyuck snarls and if he was sober, maybe he’d feel a tiny flare of guilt at the hurt that flashes in Jeno’s eyes. 

“Donghyuck, what are you talking about? We won,” Jeno’s confused, but Donghyuck is too angry to care or notice. 

“Yeah, we did win. You know exactly what you did, though. Fourth quarter, 1st and 10, you called a hook and ladder—which is my least favorite play, by the way. Anyways, you made direct eye contact with me, saw that I was open, but you still threw the ball to Yangyang. Why? You fucked the play over for us. I was  _ wide open _ ,” Donghyuck’s broken out of Renjun’s hold and is inching closer to Jeno with every word until he’s back into Jeno’s space, sticking an accusing finger out at his face.

He’s practically seething now, breathing hard and even sweatier than he previously was.

Jeno is clearly taken aback, but there’s something brewing in his eyes. It only fires Donghyuck up more. The commotion has brought people up from the basement, and people are staring and recording this encounter. There’s only a handful of people, but if Donghyuck were smart, he’d stop now. 

Donghyuck presses on, “You only came to Sunset to steal my position, didn’t you? You knew you were the best QB at Northview, and you just had to prove that you are the best quarterback in the entire district, right? And now that you’re here, you’ve already stolen both of my positions off the team: QB and captain, which I’ve been working towards since middle school! And that wasn’t enough for you, so you have to go steal my best friend, too?”

Donghyuck’s chest is heaving, straining against the tight hold Renjun has on his upper arm, still barely an inch away from Jeno. 

The crowd is starting to chant for a fight — typical highschoolers — and Donghyuck is starting to crave for a fight too. 

Jeno’s eyes are the darkest that Donghyuck’s ever seen them, and none of the usual polite kindness is present on his face. Donghyuck drunkenly wonders if this is what his opponents on the field see when they look at him. 

Then Jeno is up, shoving Donghyuck away from him. His eyes are flashing angrily, and Donghyuck stumbles over his own feet, barely catching himself before his face can smash into the wood floor. Renjun pulls him up harshly, pushing him behind his smaller frame. “That’s enough. Jeno, I’m sorry. He doesn’t mean it.”

Then it’s over. Jeno’s eyes clear and the smile is back on his face, though it’s a bit dull. “Yeah, I know. It’s not your fault,” he reaches out and pats Renjun’s shoulder before smiling, “You two should get home. It’s late.”

“I’m not done yet!” he yells after Jeno, who makes no motion to signify if he’s even heard Donghyuck’s words. 

“Donghyuck, let’s go,” Chenle puts one of Donghyuck’s arms over his shoulder and they’re off, despite all the whining Donghyuck does on the way to the car. 

The slightly chilly air outside sobers him up and the energy has seeped out of his body, leaving an exhausted shell behind, drained both mentally and physically. 

He passes out as soon as he takes a seat in Renjun’s car, leaning his head against the window and breathing in the familiar scent of the worn-down car. 

—

Sunday lunches are mandatory in the Lee household. Donghyuck’s family is a boisterous and busy bunch, so it’s always hard to get everyone together, and when they do get some time together, it’s messy and loud. Sundays aren’t up for debate, though. Donghyuck’s mom makes sure that everyone is present and if they aren’t, well, there are quite the consequences. 

Today is more of a celebratory day since everyone has successfully made it through the first week of school, leading to more bustle as they each start up their own conversations.

Donghyuck’s younger siblings are chattering about the new clubs and activities they’ve signed up for, the three of them asking Donghyuck his opinion on certain people and activities every so often. 

“So, Donghyuck, how do you feel about the first football game of your senior year?” Donghyuck’s father asks. 

Donghyuck’s parents are as supportive as they can be even though football isn’t necessarily the direction they want Donghyuck to go in. They stopped trying to make him quit when he made it to varsity, and they’ve been tolerating it since, but it’s clear that they would love for Donghyuck to change his mind about the entire sport. Donghyuck does his best to stay civil, but sometimes he wishes they just wouldn’t ask. 

“It went well. We won,” Donghyuck says stiffly. He spent all of yesterday sleeping off his hangover and the vague memories from Friday night were too much for him to handle, so he ended up not leaving his room at all. 

“Good. We’re glad to hear that. Oh, your mother and I were looking into engineering programs at one of the universities up north, and we thought you might want to go on a campus tour with us?” his father asks without looking up from his place. 

His mother at least musters a smile and places a hand on her husband’s shoulder, “We don’t want to overwhelm you, but we want you to keep your options open.”

Donghyuck scoffs but keeps eating, hoping that if he doesn’t respond, his parents will drop it. He really doesn’t have the energy to deal with this today. Arguing with his parents is his least favorite activity, yet it’s the one that occurs most often in this house. 

“Donghyuck hates engineering! He told me,” Donghyuck’s youngest brother, Dongmin says energetically, eating a piece of broccoli with no care for what he just said. 

“Don’t worry, Dongmin honey, your older brother just isn’t sure about his passions yet. I talked to your school counselor, Donghyuck, and she told me that you can still switch into a robotics or drafting class if you want. She said you have until the end of next week to switch,” Donghyuck’s mother informs, ignoring the way Donghyuck pointedly rolls his eyes. 

“I’m not dropping either of my art classes for robotics. Please, mom, I’m fine with my schedule as it is.”

“But, ceramics honey? I understand AP studio and I like it because it gives you the AP credit, but ceramics doesn’t strike me as the most practical,” his mom’s tone is just pressing enough to be overbearing and annoying, but it still is as sweet as can be. 

“Mom, I’m serious, I really don’t want to switch any of my classes. I think they’re fine right now,” Donghyuck hasn’t made eye contact with either parent for all of lunch, and he thinks he’ll be able to stick it out for the rest of the afternoon.

“Okay, honey, but I think you should think about one of those campus visits,” Mrs. Lee insists. 

“I’ll think about it,” he says shortly. 

Lunch is the same ordeal every week. Summer was a welcome break from all of this, but Donghyuck knows it’s unavoidable now that the school year has started.  _ Senior year, _ he thinks.  _ Off to a great start.  _

“Oh, I heard that Jeno is thinking about doing mechanical engineering in college. Wouldn’t it be awesome if the two of you roomed together and studied the same thing?” 

“ _ Mom! _ ”

“Okay, sorry.”

—

“It’s goddamn annoying, that’s what it is. It’s the only thing she brought up all of lunch. ‘Donghyuck, drop your art classes’, ‘Donghyuck, try robotics’. I didn’t wanna make a scene but at least Dad asked about the game. Mom couldn’t stop thinking about engineering the whole time,” Donghyuck groans as he stares at Renjun’s ceiling, watching the fan spin and spin. 

“Hey, at least she finally dropped telling you to quit football,” Renjun says, booting up his PS4 and tossing Donghyuck a controller. 

“And now she’s moved on to harassing me about art.” 

“Yeah, well, just stick it out. They may not understand, but they won’t stop you if art is really what you want to do,” Renjun nudges Donghyuck’s shoulder after he jumps onto the bed himself.

Donghyuck sighs and picks up the controller, “I hope so. Apparently Jeno’s mom told my mom that Jeno wants to go into mechanical engineering and she’s made up a fantasy of how we’re gonna room together next year and how hopefully I’ll be majoring in engineering too.”

“God, I can’t imagine that ever happening. Lee Donghyuck giving up art for something like engineering? And especially after what happened on Friday with Jeno,” Renjun’s expression is hard to read, but Donghyuck knows nothing good happened Friday, even with his scarce memories. 

“How bad was it?”

“You accused him of stealing your spot at Sunset, he pushed you, and you got mad at him for having a conversation with me,” Renjun deadpanned, not looking away from the TV. 

Donghyuck sucked a breath in as he winced. It was worse than he’d hoped. 

“You have to apologize. Jeno’s our friend,” Renjun tells him and Donghyuck nods. 

“I know. But it’s gonna make things awkward now,” Donghyuck pouts. 

“Shoulda thought of that before you humiliated yourself and accused him at the party,” Renjun pats Donghyuck’s head gently before turning back to the game. 

Donghyuck shudders as the memories from Friday infiltrate his mind and he tosses the controller to the side, flopping back on the bed, hoping to escape his own poisonous thoughts.

“Text and see if he wants to get ice cream or something. Just apologize and accept the fact that he made a mistake on the field. Everyone makes the wrong call sometimes. Don’t beat him up over it,” Renjun lays down next to him, yawning loudly even though it’s four in the afternoon. 

“Alright, I’ll see if he wants to get coffee or something. Coach won’t be happy if we’re eating ice cream midseason,” Donghyuck grabs his phone. 

“You didn’t have a problem Friday night when you were downing ten beers,” Renjun laughs, then groans when Donghyuck elbows him in the side. 

“Asshole.”

“It’s true.”

Later, Donghyuck finds the courage to text Jeno. It’s still early in the evening, so he asks if Jeno wants to meet up soon. Renjun’s passed out, the exhaustive weekend finally taking its toll on his body. 

**_TO: LEE JENO - 6:03 PM_ **

hey you wanna get some coffee or something?

i need to talk to you

Donghyuck presses send before he can overthink things and tosses his phone onto the far end of Renjun’s bed. He busies himself with turning off the TV, collecting both his and Renjun’s controllers, and putting them back into the appropriate drawers. He unfolds Renjun’s blanket and pulls it over Renjun, just as his phone buzzes. 

He’s diving for it before he can even prepare himself for what the text will contain. 

**_TO: LEE DONGHYUCK - 6:05 PM_ **

sure 

wanna meet me at starbucks in 15? at the 

one on sunset court

Donghyuck sighs. Jeno doesn’t seem furious at him, judging from his tone in his texts, but Donghyuck still feels a rush of nerves envelop him. He tells Jeno that yes, he’ll be there, before jumping up and pulling his shoes back on. 

—

Their local Starbucks tends to be full of students working on homework, and it’s a common place for Donghyuck and his friend group to meet up, so he isn’t surprised at all when he finds plenty of familiar faces sitting in various booths. 

He gets there before Jeno, so after greeting some of his friends, he takes a seat in a booth next to a window and gets to waiting. 

He’s hoping for everything to get resolved smoothly. He knows that Jeno is a nice person, but he’s not a pushover and if he feels like he’s being wronged, he’ll call bullshit. Donghyuck hates himself for letting things escalate the way they did Friday night. He knows he can’t stop his own insecurities; the comparing himself to Jeno, the constant reminder that no matter what he’s doing, Jeno’s doing it a thousand times better, but that’s his own problem. It didn’t benefit anyone from bringing out his personal problems at that party, and it’s too late to take it back now. 

Even though Donghyuck still isn’t convinced that Jeno fucked up that play on accident. It seems too easy to be an accident. Donghyuck knows they’ve practiced that exact play at least a hundred times just this season so far, and Jeno’s passes have been flawless, always to whoever has a better chance of dropping their cornerback. 

Donghyuck sighs and pulls himself out of his thoughts. There’s no point in analyzing the play. He’ll just have to get over it. It’s not that serious anyway. They won, and the team played well on Friday night, and that’s what matters.

Donghyuck is only left waiting for Jeno for a couple of minutes before Donghyuck spots him walking in. He waves, getting a terse nod in response. Donghyuck tries not to feel rejected, it doesn’t mean anything that he didn’t wave back, but his hopes are waning already. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck greets as Jeno takes a seat in the booth. Jeno’s eyes are shielded, but he doesn’t look more guarded or uneasy than usual, so Donghyuck manages a smile. 

Once the two of them get their drinks and are settled, Donghyuck stills his foot from incessantly tapping against the floor.

“I’m really sorry for how I acted on Friday. I think I maybe overreacted and read too deep into something that I was making up? There’s really no reason for me to have accused you of all the things I did, especially about Renjun. He’s your friend too, and I shouldn’t have been so possessive of him. I’m sorry,” Donghyuck says, biting his lip as he watches Jeno. 

Jeno sits forward and takes a sip of his coffee. “It’s fine. You were drunk, and honestly, who hasn’t read too much into something before? Especially on the field. It’s cool. I promise. And I’m sorry for pushing you. I just got sick of hearing the same thing that everyone else had been telling me.”

Donghyuck rubs the back of his neck, “Okay. I’m sorry again. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine, Donghyuck. I promise,” Jeno uncrosses his arms and leans for his bag, “You can make it up to me, though.”

“Sure, anything,” Donghyuck tries to peek into Jeno’s bag, relaxing at the sight of Jeno’s familiar smile playing at his lips. 

“You could help me with our chem homework?” Jeno’s smiling sheepishly as his chemistry binder thunks onto the table. 

Donghyuck can’t stifle his laugh, “Yeah, I’ll help you. But I’m taking pictures to copy the answers onto my worksheet.”

Donghyuck and Jeno’s homework session is normal, with no trace of awkwardness anywhere, but both Donghyuck and Jeno both avoid the topic of football, which leaves them with a severe lack of topics to talk about. They focus on chemistry until it’s dark, and then they work as fast as possible to finish up and go home.

Right before they separate, after walking partway home together, Jeno stops, urging Donghyuck to look at him. 

“What’s up?” Donghyuck watches Jeno nervously, not having any semblance of an idea of what Jeno is about to say.

“Just, in general. Um,” Jeno huffs out a laugh, his hand going up to rub at the nape of his neck, his face reddening. 

Donghyuck tries for a comforting smile, but he’s sure he’s failed, “What is it?”

“Did . . . I, um, did I do something wrong? Because I don’t know, it’s always been weird between us ever since we met,” Jeno winces after he speaks, rocking back and forth on his feet, his gaze focused on the sidewalk between their feet.

Donghyuck isn’t quite sure what to say. He despises the fact that Jeno is able to tell that Donghyuck has something against him, but he feels angrier at himself for the fact that he has something against Jeno in the first place. Jeno’s been nothing but nice, and it’s Donghyuck who can’t act right. 

“No. No, Jeno, definitely not. We’re good!” Donghyuck pushes out a tinny laugh that sounds forced to his own ears. He cringes, then waves, backing up quickly, “I should go. See you tomorrow at lifting!”

With that, he takes off, not stopping to hear Jeno’s dejected, “See you.”

—

Monday morning brings weightlifting at 6. It’s far too early to be up after the weekend Donghyuck has had, but he knows Coach will be expecting an explanation for his theatrics on Friday. He’s not looking forward to it. 

He drags himself out of bed and changes into a loose muscle tank and shorts, blending a protein shake for his breakfast and heading out the door. The drive to school is quiet and gives Donghyuck time to think about how he’s going to face Jeno. He seemed fine yesterday after Donghyuck apologized, but Donghyuck is still nervous. Additionally, most of the football team had seen what had happened at the party anyway, so it’s bound to be a little awkward. Donghyuck hopes it’s over quickly. He doesn’t need a reminder of his poor decisions.

He spots Jeno’s car in its regular spot and lets out a sigh of relief. At least Jeno is here. That’s one terrible crisis averted. He gets out of his car and grabs his bag before heading towards the school. 

Donghyuck is a couple of minutes early, but most of the team is already in the weight room, stretching and just sitting around until the clock hits the 6 mark. 

Donghyuck doesn’t find Jeno at their usual bench near the middle of the room. Instead, Chenle is seated at their bench, and Jeno is sitting with Jisung at Jisung and Chenle’s usual bench. 

So it’s still weird enough that Jeno wanted to switch lifting partners. That stings a bit, but Donghyuck reminds himself of what he said to an undeserving Jeno on Friday and looks away. He’s not in a position to tell Jeno how to react to Donghyuck’s own dumbassery.

“Hey, Donghyuck,” Chenle’s tired voice brings him away from his thoughts and he makes his way to the bench, dropping down onto it next to Chenle. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck responds, pulling his feet out of his shoes and shoving them into a pair of Converse. 

“Renjun told me that you talked to Jeno yesterday,” Chenle’s voice is gentle, but there’s a question there that Donghyuck sees. 

“Yeah. It was fine. I apologized. We’re good now,” Donghyuck brushes it off and stands, going for some light stretching. 

“Okay, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it,” Chenle lifts his hands up in defense. 

Donghyuck keeps stretching, eyes drifting over to Jeno every so often. He hasn’t looked over at Donghyuck even once, and Donghyuck feels his spirits fall. He wanted to fix things with Jeno, but he hasn’t even worked out his own feelings yet, so he can’t expect Jeno to figure his own out. 

Lifting goes by painfully slowly, every laugh Jisung elicits from Jeno is heard loud and clear by Donghyuck, and though Chenle does his best to distract him, Donghyuck can’t stop looking at Jeno. 

When they finish showering and getting dressed for the day, Coach walks into the locker room, making a face at all the half-dressed teenagers sitting on the bench. He heads straight to Donghyuck and Jeno, stopping both of them in their tracks. 

Everyone else in hearing proximity quiets and though they aren’t outright looking at them, Donghyuck knows they’re waiting for Coach to speak. 

Coach looks worse for wear, but that’s likely because he probably hasn’t had his first cup of coffee yet. “The two of you. My office during lunch.”

Coach’s voice is stern, but not specifically unkind. It reassures Donghyuck the tiniest bit. Donghyuck nods, not speaking, knowing that Jeno is parroting his actions.    
“Yes, Coach,” Jeno says and Coach pats them both on the shoulder before leaving.

Donghyuck gets dressed in silence. He knows that Coach probably just wants to talk to them about Friday, and he deserves an explanation, but Donghyuck can feel him curling into himself. He’s not one to be afraid of the consequences of his actions, but he hates taking responsibility for his drunk self’s actions. 

“Donghyuck!” Renjun’s in the locker room, holding a blender bottle with what’s most likely Donghyuck’s favorite smoothie. 

“Hey, Renjun,” Donghyuck sighs. It’s great that his best friend is here, but he knows that Chenle called Renjun when he saw how down Donghyuck was earlier this morning. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Renjun pulls Donghyuck to his feet, slinging Donghyuck’s bag over his own, looking ridiculous, but Donghyuck smiles at the gesture. 

Donghyuck can’t help but to look back at Jeno one last time, only to find him already looking at Donghyuck. Jeno’s lips quirk up the tiniest bit, and Donghyuck turns back around. He’s so confused, all his feelings are muddled in his head and he’s not quite sure where to start picking through them. 

Does Jeno hate him? Does Jeno still want to be his friend? Does Donghyuck hate Jeno? Does Donghyuck want to be friends?

Lunch rolls around quicker than Donghyuck would like. He spends all of his morning classes thinking about what Coach Suh wants from him and Jeno. He highly doubts it’s something light like running new drill ideas by the two of them. It’s definitely gotta be about Friday night, which does nothing to ease the tornado in Donghyuck’s stomach. 

Donghyuck drags his feet in the direction of the athletic wing. As Coach’s office gets closer, Donghyuck’s heart rate increases. He could turn in the other direction and find Renjun or Jisung or Chenle or Mark or anyone and come up with an excuse. He could ask his father to call him out of school and be at home in 10 minutes, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he lifts his hand and knocks at the door, adorned with a plaque that says Coach Suh’s name on it. He hears Coach’s “Come in!” and pushes the door open. 

Jeno’s already seated in one of the chairs in front of Coach’s desk, so Donghyuck hurries to take the other. 

“Okay, I want to make this as quick and painless as possible, but I want this to be a respectful and honest discussion, alright?” Coach looks directly at Donghyuck, and Donghyuck nods. 

So it is about Friday night.   
“Jeno’s been playing at Sunset for a year, and training with us for longer than that. I’ve noticed that even back then, during the summer before your junior year, the two of you have always been somewhat distant. I think the two of you get along just fine in theory, but your teamwork shows the lack of closeness between the two of you,” Coach looks serious, and Donghyuck hates that. 

“I think we play well together,” Donghyuck pipes up. 

Coach nods, “Yeah, you usually do. But on Friday, you didn’t. There’s a coldness between you two, especially from your side, Donghyuck, and I can’t have that on my team. We sweat together, learn from each other, and grow with each other. I need you two to put away whatever personal vendettas you have against each other and work together. There’s no place for pettiness on the field.”

“Yes, Coach,” Donghyuck mutters, his gaze tilting to the ground. 

Jeno is very still next to him and hasn’t said anything the whole time. Donghyuck takes the risk and looks over, only to find Jeno already looking at him. They both avert their gazes, the quiet threatening to swallow both of them. 

Coach’s eyebrows are furrowed and he frowns as he watches the exchange. “I don’t think it’s just the two of you being uncomfortable around each other. I think you two need to actually work through whatever the issue is. I wanted to let you guys resolve it before I needed to step in, because I’ve noticed it for quite a while, but you two never let anyone see the bad side of you. So I’m going to let the two of you work on resolving your issues before I step in further.”

“Yes, Coach,” it’s Jeno this time, but he meets Coach’s eyes. “We’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you. And guys? Whatever you two don’t like about each other is outweighed by the good parts of each of you, alright?” Coach is staring right into Donghyuck’s soul, and Donghyuck wants nothing more than to cower back. 

“We get it, Coach,” Jeno says, “Quit being cheesy.”

Coach Suh laughs, “Alright, then get out of my office. Maybe get lunch together. And talk?”

“Coach!” 

“Okay, okay. Get outta here!”

—

The next day at practice is the next time Donghyuck sees Jeno. They have chemistry together, but the current seating chart puts them in a place where neither of them see each other much. Donghyuck halfheartedly hopes that both Coach and Jeno have forgotten about their conversation from yesterday, but knows that that simply isn’t possible. 

Jeno gives him a small smile on his way out of the locker room and it settles Donghyuck’s nerves a bit. His other teammates haven’t said much about both the game and the party on Friday, and he’s starting to think that either Renjun or Chenle reached out and made sure that everyone was aware that they were to steer clear of the topic. 

Practice is the usual, for the most part. Coach has to raise his voice at a couple underclassmen who are still hyped from the win and keep goofing off. Jeno keeps his distance from Donghyuck but to anyone else it isn’t noticeable. He still smiles at Donghyuck, passes during drills, but if there’s a choice, he doesn’t stand right next to Donghyuck. 

“Alright, we have about 15 minutes left of practice. Donghyuck will be leading you through the rest of the drills,” Jeno says, not making eye contact with Donghyuck.

Coach looks a bit confused too, but no one objects. There is a strange air surrounding them, like no one is quite sure what to say or whether to break the silence. Donghyuck swallows the gulp of water he had been in the process of drinking and puts his water bottle down.

Leading the team through drills isn’t something new to Donghyuck, but it is something he hadn’t ever expected to do ever again after Jeno was chosen as captain.

Still, it comes easily to him as he divides the team into two halves to set up for a laidback scrimmage. 

It’s over quickly, and Donghyuck catches up to Jeno when Coach calls time and cuts them loose for the day. 

“Hey,” he jogs up to Jeno, who slows down and sends him a small smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and Donghyuck puts a hand on his wrist to stop him gently.

“Leading practice comes naturally to you, you did well today,” Jeno says, squinting as he faces Donghyuck. The sun is glaring brightly over them, and Jeno’s eyes shine in the light.

Donghyuck laughs, “Thanks. Why did you ask me to lead?”

Jeno bites his lip, looking into the distance, somewhere behind Donghyuck’s head. He doesn’t answer for a second, just long enough for Donghyuck to start thinking. 

And then it’s obvious. Friday night, when Donghyuck accused Jeno of stealing his captain position. Jeno’s making up for the guilt he probably felt when Donghyuck told him that he had been working for this position since middle school. 

“My legs were sore. I went pretty hard during lifting yesterday. Don’t overthink it,” Jeno grins, patting Donghyuck’s shoulder before jogging towards the school. 

Donghyuck huffs out a sigh. He isn’t mad but he doesn’t want Jeno’s pity. Jeno does deserve the position. Both positions, QB and captain. Donghyuck doesn’t have any right to be upset when Jeno got the position fair and square. 

He shouldn’t be bitter when Jeno is trying so hard to be his friend and to be a team player, but he can’t help but grip his water bottle a bit tighter before resuming his jog back to the locker rooms. 

— 

Donghyuck is glad their school found the funds for charter buses this year. The buses for their away games are almost lavish, something that every player appreciates. They have fully-functioning air conditioners, the seats recline, and there’s a bathroom onboard too. 

Donghyuck follows Jeno to the back of the bus. Jeno looks at him inquisitively, “Window or aisle?”

“Window,” Donghyuck grins and Jeno moves aside to let Donghyuck in first. 

Donghyuck isn’t sure why he was so nervous before getting on the bus, but his nerves are fading now. Jeno and Donghyuck sat with each other for every bus ride for away games last year, and Donghyuck was nervous that Jeno wouldn’t want to sit with him this year. He’s grateful that Jeno doesn’t make a big deal out of the seating arrangements, and he takes his seat. 

Jisung and Chenle slide into the row across from them and they gear up for the trip. Their game is three hours away, so luckily the football team gets to miss their last two classes of the day. 

The game today is against one of the lower ranked teams in the state, so it should be a good chance to prove their skills while taking it easier than last week. The team is mostly relaxed, but everyone is excited. Practices this week have been awkward, and Donghyuck knows it’s because of him, but all of that stays off the field. Donghyuck knows that as soon as he steps onto the field all will be forgotten, and it’s a welcome thought. He wants things to go back to how they were just a week ago. Everyone was gearing up for what was going to be the best season of their high school careers, and it was too soon for their plans to fall off-course this severely. 

Jeno puts his airpods in next to Donghyuck, and Donghyuck leans his own head against the window. He might as well try to catch some sleep before the game. Jisung and Chenle are quietly talking and the rest of the bus is mostly quiet, so Donghyuck closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep.

He lays there for a couple minutes, listening to the whirring of the air conditioner, to the quiet conversation Jisung and Chenle are having, feeling Jeno’s warmth next to him, but no sleep graces him. 

He huffs and turns his head, sneaking a look at Jeno. His eyes are closed, airpods in and music turned up loud enough that Donghyuck can hear it. He looks peaceful, like someone Donghyuck would be friends with. He hates his own feelings, his jealousy and envy, but he can’t do much about it. He hates the way Donghyuck jeopardized their friendship and teamwork because of his own stupid feelings, but he can’t take his words back. 

The underclassmen are whooping up front and someone turns on music that they all try to rap to, failing miserably, ending any possibility that Donghyuck may get to nap.

“Jeno?” Donghyuck asks after a few minutes. Jeno’s been scrolling on his phone so Donghyuck takes the opportunity to talk. 

“What’s up?” Jeno looks at him quickly, before turning back to his phone. He types for a couple more seconds before putting his phone down and giving Donghyuck his full attention. 

“My mom told me you want to major in engineering and now she’s bugging me to also major in engineering,” Donghyuck grins, and Jeno laughs, all traces of discomfort disappearing. 

“Yeah, I wanna do engineering. I know doing engineering while playing football in college isn’t ideal, but I think I can put in the work to make it happen,” Jeno lights up at the topic, easily replying to Donghyuck. 

“Yeah, I bet you could,” Donghyuck smiles, feeling a strange mix of adoration pool into his stomach, mixing with a more bitter feeling. 

“Why don’t you wanna do engineering?” Jeno asks. 

Donghyuck shrugs, “I don’t have anything against it, I just wanna major in art or graphic design or something else like that. I’m alright at math, but I don’t think I’d enjoy a major in engineering. It’s just not what I’m passionate about.”

Jeno nods, “I get that. Luckily my parents are fine with me doing engineering, but they always tried pushing me towards medicine. I could never do it, though, I just wasn’t ever interested.”

“How are your college apps coming along? I’ve written so many essays I feel like a professional bragger,” Donghyuck laughs, “Luckily I finished putting my portfolio together over the summer, so that’s one less thing I have to worry about.”

Jeno hums, “That’s good. The portfolio part, not the essay part. But I get you, I have nothing original to say about myself. I just say that football’s taught me a lot about teamwork, hard work, and determination, and that I’m excited to use those skills in other aspects of my life. It’s the same generic bullshit for every essay.”

Donghyuck laughs despite himself, catching the attention of Chenle, who has just woken up from a nap. He sends Donghyuck a questioning look, one that Donghyuck subtly rolls his eyes at. 

He turns back to Jeno, only to find him already looking down at him. Jeno’s eyes are wide, something unreadable in them, but they are still kind. 

Donghyuck realizes that though he has known Jeno for a year and a half, Donghyuck knows near to nothing about Jeno. They’ve only ever talked about comfortable topics: school, football, their mutual friends. Donghyuck doesn’t even know Jeno’s favorite food or TV show. He knows the reason: he shut down every one of Jeno’s attempts at getting to know each other better. 

“Jeno,” Donghyuck asks, meeting Jeno’s gaze, “What’s your favorite color?”

“Green. For the best football team ever, the Packers,” Jeno smiles, his eyes scrunching up in the cutest way possible. A strange pressure builds up in Donghyuck’s stomach at the sight, and he averts his eyes. 

“The Packers are not the best football team! Not when the Steelers exist!” Donghyuck exclaims when he finally comprehends the rest of Jeno’s words.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me, there’s no way you’re a Steelers fan!” Jeno nudges Donghyuck, a smile bright on his face, and Donghyuck mirrors the action. 

Donghyuck and Jeno spend the rest of the bus ride talking to each other, conversation flowing easier than it ever has in the year Donghyuck has known him. 

They win the game easily. Their teamwork is exceptional today, and Coach makes sure they know it. The bus ride home is even better, because Jeno and Donghyuck both fully participate in the after-game foolishness the underclassmen always have going on; they play truth or dare and rap along to all their music. Jisung and Chenle make sure to let Donghyuck know that they noticed the difference too, when they stop Donghyuck before they head home, after they wave goodbye to Jeno and watch him head home.

“I realized I’m not the center of the world,” Donghyuck grins, slinging each of his arms around his friends, though Jisung’s towering height creates a weird angle.

“We’re happy for you,” Jisung smiles, ducking away from Donghyuck when he goes to ruffle Jisung’s hair. 

Donghyuck was happy too. 

—

“Chenle told me that you and Jeno are friends now?” Renjun asks as Donghyuck starts up the PS4, getting settled on Renjun’s bed. 

Donghyuck scoffs, of course Chenle would report everything back to Renjun. He should’ve expected it. All it likely took was the promise of some food, and Chenle probably spilled every interaction he had seen between Jeno and Donghyuck. 

“Yeah, it was affecting our teamwork on the field and Coach wanted it fixed,” Donghyuck brushes it off, focusing on his game instead. 

“Jeno’s been wanting to be your friend ever since he moved,” Mark comments, looking up from his phone, “It was about time you caved.”

Donghyuck frowns. He didn’t know that, he’d always thought Jeno was content with the not-close friendship they had going on. He didn’t even know that Jeno knew that Donghyuck was making an effort to put distance between them. He shouldn’t be surprised though, Jeno’s always been nice to Donghyuck, no matter what shitty things Donghyuck does to him. 

“We’ve always been friends,” Donghyuck says, faking obliviousness. 

“Oh, for sure. You guys must’ve been great friends when you yelled at him at Chenle’s party for talking to another one of your friends,” Mark nods with thinly veiled disbelief, rolling his eyes at Donghyuck’s antics. 

“Shut up, Mark. Who the hell are you texting, anyways? Who’s more important than me right now?” Donghyuck leans over and pushes Mark’s phone out of his hand, replacing it with a PS4 controller instead. 

“Hyuck, hold on. This is important,” Mark grabs for his phone again and Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. 

“Someone special? Who is it?” he leans closer to Mark, trying to get a peek of the screen, only to have Mark’s hand pushing back against Donghyuck’s forehead, blocking his advances. 

“Fuck off,” Mark says, eyes glued to his phone screen again, fingers moving quicker than Donghyuck’s ever seen them. Mark’s never really been one for texting, anyway, he recalls.

“We should play, Mark. Donghyuck,” Renjun’s voice seems to act as a warning, though Donghyuck can’t tell what for. It piques his interest, but he doesn’t want to be too nosy. Still, his curiosity rages wild as he waits for Mark to get settled again. 

They ease into playing Call of Duty after Renjun gets bored of NBA 2K20 and play for a while. Donghyuck’s full focus is put into the game, but the same can’t be said for his friends. Renjun checks his phone every couple of minutes for an update on the pizza he’d ordered for dinner, and Mark keeps checking his phone, obviously waiting on a text from whoever’s got his interest. Finally, Mark’s phone rings, his beachy ringtone cutting through Donghyuck’s focus.    
“I’ve gotta take this,” Mark immediately jumps off the bed and jogs out of Renjun’s bedroom, standing in the hallway where Donghyuck can barely hear his voice over the sound of the video game. 

“Shit, pizza’s here,” Renjun says as a notification pops up on his phone, “Be right back.”   
Donghyuck hums and falls back on Renjun’s bed, picking up his own phone after pausing the game. Renjun disappears down the stairs, and now, in the quiet, Donghyuck can hear Mark’s voice clearer.

He must’ve moved into the guest room next to Renjun’s room, because Donghyuck can hear Mark’s voice coming from the wall behind Renjun’s TV. Despite his better thinking, Donghyuck moves to the edge of the bed, as close as possible to the wall, where he quiets his breathing and strains his ears. 

“. . . At Renjun’s right now. No, I can’t talk for too long. Donghyuck’s already curious, he wants to know who I’m talking to,” Mark’s quiet murmurs come through the wall, then he pauses for a bit. “No, no, I can’t tell him right now. Maybe in a few days. No, he’s just starting to warm up to him. I know, I do too.”

Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows. There’s not many people Mark could be talking to. Mark gets along well with almost everyone, but there’s hardly anyone Mark would be talking to while keeping it a secret, so this person must be someone special. 

There’s a few girls on the women’s track team that may make the cut, but Donghyuck isn’t quite sure. He knows Mark’s also into guys, but he’s never shown an active interest before. Not like Donghyuck has. 

He purses his lips and holds his breath as Mark starts talking again. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, after school, alright? Do you have a home or away game this week?” Mark inquires. 

Donghyuck’s eyebrows raise. So this person plays a fall sport. This person is more than likely a football player, because Mark has shown up to every game this season, which is somewhat unusual, but who? 

Donghyuck’s stomach shrinks as one name makes its way into his head. Jeno? It would be most likely, but Mark should know that they have a home game this week. Donghyuck knows something’s not adding up. Maybe it’s Hyunjin? Or possibly Seungmin?

He hears Renjun’s quick footsteps coming up the stairs so he picks up his phone again, opening Snapchat and swiping through his stories nonchalantly. 

“Smells good,” he looks up as Renjun carries in two boxes of pizza, plates and napkins. 

“Soda’s downstairs, can you go get it?” Renjun sets down the boxes on his desk and Donghyuck gets up. 

“Coach’s not gonna like me when he hears about this,” Donghyuck says, pushing out all thoughts about Mark and his secret lover. 

“What Coach doesn’t know won’t hurt him. But we have gatorade in the fridge too,” Renjun says, sending him a knowing look. 

Donghyuck grins before heading downstairs. When he gets back up — soda and gatorade in hand — Mark is still in the other room, presumably still on the phone, so he takes the chance to ask Renjun. 

“Has Mark been interested in anyone lately?” Donghyuck asks, setting the drinks down on the table. He catches Renjun glancing at his phone quickly, then he looks back to Donghyuck.

He shakes his head, after a moment of silence, “No. I don’t think so. He hasn’t told me anything about it.”

Donghyuck hums. Renjun has always been the best liar Donghyuck knows, clever enough to cover up any possible clue leading to the answer. He isn’t convinced by any means, but he doesn’t want to create a scene, so he reaches for the pizza box instead. 

Renjun slaps a hand against the wall connected to the room next to them, “Mark! Come get your pizza. Quit talking to your mom!”

As if Mark was talking to his mom. Donghyuck rolls his eyes but eagerly eats his dinner. 

When Mark comes back, Donghyuck pretends not to notice the red hues on his cheeks or the way he can’t maintain eye contact with Donghyuck. 

—

“What do you think about that, Jeno?” Jisung asks, and Donghyuck lifts his head from his notebook to look at Jeno, only to find Jeno already gazing at him. 

Jeno looks away first, cheeks heating up as he coughs awkwardly, turning to Jisung. “Sorry, can you—um, repeat that?”

Donghyuck feels his own cheeks burn for a second as he watches Jeno. He isn’t sure what’s going on between the two of them, but ever since their last away game, he’s been feeling a lot more connected to Jeno. They’ve been friendly, but it’s something new, something neither one of them is used to. It’s a welcome feeling, but it’s still awkward more times than not.

Donghyuck had skillfully kept his distance from Jeno for a year, allowing Jeno to see only what he wanted, which was usually only his witty comebacks and humor. Nothing more, nothing less. Going from a carefully monitored demeanor in front of Jeno to Donghyuck’s bare, real personality was something Donghyuck hadn’t expected to be so difficult. 

“Yeah, sure. I was saying that Chenle and I think that we should have 20 carnival games instead of 24, and increase the number of crafts. Last year, we almost ran out of craft materials since we only had three craft stations,” Jisung repeats himself, sending a pained expression to Chenle, who responds with a comforting smile. 

Jeno’s been like this all day, and obviously his brain is somewhere else at the moment. He’s distracted but he manages to pull himself together, sending Jisung an apologetic smile. 

“Yeah that sounds alright. Just write down the additional costs and text it to me,” Jeno says, turning back to his own notebook. 

They’re currently planning for their annual carnival run by the football team. Usually, two underclassmen with good leadership potential are chosen to organize and plan out the carnival, and the team captain is to supervise, with Coach dealing with funding. Last year, it was Jisung and Chenle, and the year before, it was Donghyuck and Yangyang. This year, Jisung and Chenle are giving a helping hand to the underclassmen who seem to be struggling since they’re trying to expand the carnival on a bigger scale. 

Donghyuck loves the carnival. It’s a tradition, something he’s found comfort in for every year since elementary school. He has been going to it since elementary school with his friends, spending the evening playing as many games as he can to get as many prizes as possible. All of the money they raise that night goes towards cancer research, which always makes it more meaningful to them. It’s great to build morale for the rest of the season as well, especially since the middle of the season usually brings exhaustion that’s felt deep in their bones. 

“And I just wanted to make sure that we’re still going to have 15 raffles?” Jisung looks down at his notebook before asking, meeting Jeno’s eyes, which have shifted towards the window in the classroom, his focus off the meeting. 

“Jeno, I think you should take a break. I’ll check over everything with Jisung, alright?” Donghyuck moves over and places a hand on Jeno’s shoulder, encouraging him to stand up. 

Jeno jumps up, shaking Donghyuck’s hand off a bit too quickly, his cheeks turning red as he turns and nods. 

“Yeah, I just need some air,” he mumbles before speed-walking away. 

Jisung rolls his eyes at Jeno’s fading back, muttering to himself before he turns to Donghyuck. “What did you do to him?”

“Me?” Donghyuck’s eyes widen, “What did I do? Jeno and I are finally getting along, I didn’t do anything to him!”

Jisung nods slowly, disbelief plastered all over his face, “Alright, Donghyuck. Whatever you say. Anyways, I think we’ve covered just about everything. Oh! I don’t have the pairs figured out yet. You and Jeno are gonna work together, though.”   
Donghyuck feels something stir in his stomach. It’s not uncomfortable, it’s just strange. He can’t quite put his finger on the feeling, but he knows it’s not unhappiness. 

“Okay, that’s alright. What game did you put us down for?” Donghyuck asks, trying to get a peek at Jisung’s notebook. Jisung pushes him back before leaning down to try and discern what his messy scrawl says. 

“I think I put the two of you down for basketball for half of the night and the dunk tank for the other half,” Jisung squints before looking up. 

Donghyuck curses. Both of those are games that they’ll have to talk to each other frequently while running them. 

“I thought you two were friends now,” Chenle notices Donghyuck’s mixed reaction, sending him an inquisitive glance. 

Donghyuck’s gaze drops to his hands, “I’m working on it.”

Chenle and Jisung share a quick glance before Jisung turns back to look at Donghyuck with a goofy smile on his face. 

“It’s a good thing you two are paired up for your stations.”   
“What does that mean?” Donghyuck asks as Jisung closes his notebook and stands, sending Donghyuck a clumsy wink before pulling Chenle along with him out of the classroom.

Donghyuck stares at their retreating forms then drops his head into his hands. He needs to figure out what the hell is going on with Jeno. If Coach catches their teamwork slipping again, he doesn’t want to know the consequences. 

He pulls himself together, sending one last look to the door where all of his friends left, before directing his focus back to his notebook where he was designing flyers to promote the carnival. 

—

“Mark!” Renjun hisses sharply, slapping Mark’s phone out of his hand.    
“What?”

Donghyuck inches back behind the wall, peeking his head out the tiniest bit to find Mark and Renjun standing in the library. They are huddled next to the computers, hidden from the rest of the library but right in Donghyuck’s line of sight.

Donghyuck narrows his eyes as he watches his two best friends bicker. He knows that the two of them are closer to each other than they were to Donghyuck; it was inevitable when the two of them spent all year with each other, both during track and football season, while Donghyuck only shared track season with them. Still, they haven’t ever kept this many secrets from him, and it is starting to take a toll on him. 

“When should we tell Donghyuck? I know he’s starting to get suspicious and I don’t like hiding things from him. Why are we hiding this from him anyways?” Mark was asking, looking guilty and conflicted simultaneously as Renjun sighs. His gaze softens as he looks at Mark, and Donghyuck creeps closer, eyes widening as Renjun’s hand comes to settle on Mark’s shoulder.

Could it be? Could Mark and Renjun be a thing, effectively cutting Donghyuck out of the loop?

Donghyuck shakes his head. He doesn’t care if Renjun and Mark are a thing. It may be a bit awkward, but Donghyuck is more hurt that they don’t trust him enough to confide in him. 

“You know why we can’t. Donghyuck is just starting to get along with Jeno. We need to give him time. We’ve already waited for quite a while. A bit longer won’t hurt,” Renjun says, leaning back against the bookshelf nearest to him. Mark nods, still looking distressed. 

“I hate keeping things from him. I wanna tell him,” Mark looks down at his feet.

“We just have to wait until the season is over. Once they get through the playoffs, we can tell him. I don’t want to distract him, and I don’t wanna cause problems between us. We need to be there for him as his friends. I know it sucks, Mark, but we only need to hang on for a few months longer,” Renjun says softly, nudging Mark with a touch just as soft. 

Donghyuck can’t watch more. He turns, feeling like he’s going to vomit. All these bits and pieces of information aren’t adding up. If Renjun and Mark are a thing, who has Mark been texting so avidly these days? And if Mark was seeing Jeno, then why was Renjun so involved in it? Unless the three of them were together? That would explain Jeno’s weird behavior lately whenever he is around Donghyuck. It still didn’t quite add up, though. 

Donghyuck shakes his head, he really needs to sit down and talk to his best friends soon. 

—

The air is warm at the moment, the sun glaring down on the pavement. Donghyuck takes a deep breath in, turning around to look at the team’s handiwork. The elementary school has been fully transformed for the carnival. 

The blacktop has various games set up all around the school’s perimeter, ranging from origami crafts to the dunk tank to the bean bag toss. Inside the school, there’s funnel cake and other concessions, raffles, and a few inflatables in the gym. 

Donghyuck feels his heart swell at the sight. It’s their biggest carnival setup yet, and it looks like it will pay off. There’s still an hour or so until the carnival is set to open, but Donghyuck is already getting excited to see all the kids in the same position he was in a couple years ago.

“Donghyuck, Coach wants you. He’s in the media center,” Chenle says. He’s carrying a giant tub of bowling pins and miniature bowling balls for the game stations. Though he’s sweaty and his arms are straining with the weight, he looks excited. It makes Donghyuck smile. 

“Alright. Do you need a hand with that, first?” Donghyuck offers, pointing at the tub. Chenle shakes his head. 

“I got it, just go see Coach Suh,” Chenle says, walking over to the game area. 

Donghyuck nods before heading inside the school. The hallways are familiar, and he finds himself stopping to look at the artwork hanging on the walls, finger paintings and crayon drawings. It’s all so familiar to him, he remembers being in elementary school and having his own artwork displayed on the walls. It invokes a strange sense of sentimentality in him, and he speeds up to the media center before he gets distracted going down memory lane. 

He finds Coach Suh standing next to Jeno near the bookshelves. They’re laughing, engaged in a conversation, and don’t hear Donghyuck come in.    
Donghyuck clears his throat and Jeno shoots him a small smile. Jeno’s back to normal now. All traces of the distracted, awkward, easily flustered Jeno are gone, replaced by the confident and attentive Jeno standing in front of him now. 

“Are all the games set up outside?” Coach Suh asks, and Donghyuck nods, dragging his gaze away from Jeno’s smile. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck clears his throat again, “I think Chenle has the last bin for the bowling game and then we should be good.”

“Okay, the two of you did a good job. We’re done way ahead of schedule, so you and the rest of the team can have about thirty minutes to go around the carnival yourself. Remember, don’t make the crafts, but you can go on the inflatables and play any of the games. Make sure to clean up after yourselves and don’t forget to grab a snack and some water before opening,” Coach instructs them, eyes sparkling as he surveys Jeno and Donghyuck. 

“Got it,” Jeno says. 

“And spread what I just told you around. I’ll be telling the rest of the boys as they come in, but your communication skills are far more effective than mine. That’s a consequence of being old,” Coach sighs.

Donghyuck snickers, “You’re 26, Coach. You aren’t that old.”

“I know, I know. I’m still not in sync with all you teenagers, though. Now get outta here and enjoy yourselves,” Coach pushes them towards the door gently, a warm-hearted grin lighting up his face. 

“Thanks, Coach,” Donghyuck calls as they walk out of the media center. 

Donghyuck falls in step with Jeno as they walk back through the hallways. Donghyuck can’t help but to stare at the artwork on the walls again, taking in how much he and everyone in his grade has grown. 

“Do you miss your old school?” Donghyuck asks suddenly, looking over at Jeno. 

He discreetly leads Jeno the long way back to the front entrance. Lately, he’s been enjoying Jeno’s company a lot, and he wants to make it last for as long as possible. 

Jeno nods, looking down, “Of course I miss it. I grew up with everyone at my old school. I’m not gonna be able to graduate with my best friends or the people I know like the back of my hand. It’s not that bad, though. I get to graduate with you and the rest of the team, and I’m grateful for that.”

Jeno looks almost shy, a faint pink coloring his cheeks that Donghyuck stifles a smile at. Jeno is just so cute, he can’t handle it. 

“Well, for the record, I’m grateful I get to graduate with you, too,” Donghyuck laughs at the way Jeno’s blush darkens. 

He leans over and knocks their shoulders together. “What game should we play first?”

Jeno quirks an eyebrow, a competitive smile taking over his face, “Basketball. And whoever loses the most games has to pay for our concessions at the end?”

“You’re on,” Donghyuck pushes the door to the school open and takes off running, channeling all his energy in his goal to beat Jeno. 

They play game after game, with countless rematches for each game. Both boys are competitive enough that they aren’t willing to back down. They spit insults at each other, sabotage throws and plays, but they’re laughing the whole time. They only have thirty minutes to play, but they make each minute count. 

Jeno wins basketball, courtesy of his height that gives him an advantage. Donghyuck wins the shooting games — he has unbeatable aim. Both of them tie at the bean bag toss, which Donghyuck expects. Jeno wins bobbing for apples and Donghyuck wins the balloon pop game. 

When they hear Coach’s call, signaling that they need to get back to their stations and prepare for the general public to come in, the score is still tied. 

Despite them playing three rounds of most of the games, it seems that both boys are evenly matched with each other. 

They show up to their station exhausted and laughing, and decide that a simple rock-paper-scissors game will give them the final verdict for who will be buying their snacks. 

“Best of three?” Donghyuck asks through his laughter, swiping his sweaty hair out of his face. 

Jeno has a matching smile on his face, “Of course.”

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

Donghyuck wins, and he leaps with joy. “Hell yeah!”

Jeno sighs, still beaming, and puts his hands up in defense, “All right, you won fair and square. I’ll get us food.”

Donghyuck throws an arm around Jeno’s shoulder, nuzzling his sweaty head in the crook of Jeno’s shoulder, “Thanks, Jeno.”

“You’re sweaty,” Jeno laughs heartily, his eyes crinkling up with joy.

Donghyuck pulls back, noticing for the first time how undeniably good Jeno looks in the muscle tee he’s wearing, and how generously it shows off Jeno’s biceps. 

He bites his lip and studies the way the sun makes Jeno’s tanned skin look honeyed and smooth. He has the instant urge to either stroke Jeno’s stomach or punch it, just to see how tough the muscle is. He wonders if Jeno’s abdomen is tighter than his and if— 

“Hyuck? Donghyuck, hey,” Donghyuck looks up blankly, blinking when he realizes Jeno’s talking to him. 

“Do you want soda or gatorade?” Jeno’s eyebrows are scrunched together as he looks in Donghyuck’s eyes, as if they hold all the answers to every question Jeno’s ever had. A second passes, then Jeno’s just looking at him quizzically when Donghyuck doesn’t answer. 

“Gatorade, please,” Donghyuck straightens up, turning around and making sure everything at their dunk tank station is presentable and organized. 

“You got it,” Jeno says and turns, heading inside for their concessions. Donghyuck shudders as he recalls the thoughts he had just been having a few minutes ago. 

By 7, both boys have been thoroughly soaked to the bone countless times thanks to the decent aim that several of the younger kids possess. Donghyuck’s lost count of how many little boys and girls have told him that they want to play football or baseball or softball when they grow up. And with the scarily spot-on aim they have, Donghyuck tells them to go for it each time.

In the dunk tank next to him, Jeno looks like he’s met with the same fate. Donghyuck’s eyes catch on Jeno’s muscle tee that is now stuck to his chest, is slightly translucent, and easily sculpts out Jeno’s defined abdomen. It  _ is _ tighter than Donghyuck’s own abdomen is. He hates that, but at the same time, there’s an appreciation that Donghyuck has never experienced before. 

Donghyuck tears his eyes away, just in time for another group of middle schoolers to walk up and hand him their tickets.

He catches Jeno’s eyes. He’s mid-laugh, responding to something one of the younger kids says to him. His gorgeous white teeth are on full display, and he’s throwing his head back and Donghyuck feels something warm expand in his chest. 

He finds himself smiling, before the kid in front of him snaps his fingers in his face. 

“Hello? Are you gonna give me the balls or do you want me to just punch the button?”

Jesus, Donghyuck had forgotten how impatient middle school children are. He wipes the smile off his face, opting for a bored look as he hands the two balls over. 

“You get two tries. Go for it,” he says, trying his best not to sound snappy. 

The kid throws, and hits the corner of the target on the first try. The platform Donghyuck is sitting on folds, and Donghyuck meets the cold water a second later. 

The water is jarringly cold. It’s been about twenty minutes since anyone’s hit the target, and though the sun is still bright outside, it’s starting to get a bit chilly. Goosebumps erupt on Donghyuck’s arms and legs, but he enjoys the feeling of the water. There’s some strands of grass floating around the water, and Donghyuck thinks he spots a hairball as well. 

Donghyuck resurfaces as soon as he can and pushes the hair out of his eyes. A quick glance over to Jeno’s tank graces him with Jeno already looking at him.

Jeno’s eyes hold concern in them and Donghyuck grins, sending him a quick nod of reassurance. They both only have a few more minutes at the dunk station before they have to switch to supervising the basketball station, and honestly, Donghyuck is having fun. 

Donghyuck tries not to watch Jeno as much as he is, but it’s difficult when Jeno laughs every time he goes under the water. He emerges with the biggest smile on his face, his laughs ringing through the air, and it’s so hard not to watch and admire Jeno’s pure happiness. Jeno’s joy is contagious, and Donghyuck wants it to rub off on him more than it already has.

“Jesus, Donghyuck, you’ve been staring for like two full minutes now,” an amused voice comments in front of him.

Donghyuck blinks and looks at Yangyang and Hyunjin, both quietly snickering as they look from Donghyuck to Jeno and back again. 

“How long have you been standing there?” Donghyuck groans, burying his face in his hands. His face is red, he’s sure, and he has no good excuse for this. Yangyang’s gonna have a field day with this. 

Sure enough, Yangyang’s smile can only be described as devilish when Donghyuck looks up. 

“Long enough. Now get up, you and Jeno get 15 minutes to dry off and get a snack,” Yangyang tells him and Hyunjin heads over to talk to Jeno. “Oh, and beware. There’s a couple of kids who have been competing against each other all night at the basketball station. They’ve been there for at least an hour and they keep yelling at each other. So good luck. And get some, if you can. Jeno’s right there.”

Yangyang winks as Donghyuck groans again. He climbs down from the dunk tank and grabs his towel, throwing it around his neck. He stretches and sees Jeno doing the same. 

“Fuck off, Yangie. Enjoy catching a cold because the sun is about to set,” Donghyuck nudges his friend’s shoulder hard, deliberately trying to get him wet. 

“Ready, Donghyuck? We should go eat, I’m starving,” Jeno comes up next to him, his own towel thrown around his neck. His t-shirt is sticking to his stomach in all the right ways, and Donghyuck has to force his eyes up. Jeno’s hair has already started drying in waves, and Donghyuck suddenly has the urge to run his fingers through Jeno’s hair. He thinks that his hair, all wavy like this, resembles a puppy’s fur.

He clears his throat, “Yeah, yeah, I’m hungry too. Let’s go.”

He throws Yangyang a stern look and waves at Hyunjin, who has already taken Jeno’s spot at the other tank, before following Jeno. 

They find themselves at a small picnic table a bit further out from the school than the rest are, but Donghyuck is grateful for the quiet. He’s thrown on a sweatshirt and dried off the best he could, but now he just has to wait for the sun to do the rest. 

Jeno’s also put on a sweatshirt, and both of them are eating corndogs and have a funnel cake to share.

“You know, before I moved schools, my parents asked me which school I’d like to transfer to? Obviously, we moved for my parents’ work, but they gave me a couple options that I could choose from,” Jeno says, looking at Donghyuck.

His eyes are more clouded than usual, and Donghyuck feels guilty. He knows that whatever Jeno says next will probably reflect badly on himself, and he hates himself for that. He nods, though, motioning for Jeno to continue as he continues to eat. 

“So I took it upon myself during sophomore year to research possible schools. I’d only ever heard of Sunset before. I knew of the other schools through football and stuff, but— I don’t know. I felt like Sunset was closest to my old school in terms of athletics and academics. Anyway, one of my friends told me I should go to this carnival that Sunset always hosts, and I thought that it might be fun and who knows, maybe I’d find the answer that I was looking for,” Jeno says and Donghyuck realizes that he knows exactly where this is going. 

Jeno’s playing with the plate that the funnel cake is in, folding and unfolding the sides. Donghyuck takes a second to remind himself that the past is in the past, and though Donghyuck can’t change the past, he can work on making up for lost time. 

“So I went, and everything was so well organized, and I had a really good time. It was a lot smaller than this year’s, but I still had fun with my friends. We went around and talked to some of the team members, and I talked to some of the people that I had seen before at camp or during trainings,” Jeno continued, though his fiddling with the plate was getting more and more aggressive. His face remained stoic, and Donghyuck felt his heart break, just a little. 

“And it was funny. Everyone was telling me that I should talk to this boy named Donghyuck. Apparently he was in the same grade as me and played quarterback like me. I had heard the name before, and I had seen him at games before, but that was all I knew about him. Still, I was interested to know more about him. I talked to Coach, eventually, just because I wanted to get a feel for how strictly he ran things. Funnily, he told me that this Donghyuck guy had organized the entire carnival, along with one of his friends. It was really impressive to me. At fifteen, I wasn’t sure that I could organize something this big and successful. I was impressed, and I wanted to talk to the boy that was the star of Sunset’s football team.”

Jeno’s breathing is hard, and Donghyuck feels his own chest clench. He had been such an asshole for no reason, he remembers. And not just then. He’s  _ been _ an asshole to Jeno. 

“But imagine my surprise when I finally got a chance to talk to Donghyuck, and all he seemed interested in doing was one-up me. But that was understandable. He didn’t know me, and I was asking him all sorts of things like how long it had taken to organize this carnival, and whether he was going to football camp this year,” the paper plate finally rips, and Jeno releases the plate, looking down as if he was surprised that the plate had a breaking point. 

Donghyuck no longer feels cold. He feels ashamed, embarrassed, and cruel. He feels hot all over, like he’s been submerged in a hot tub and is listening to Jeno’s words through a layer of water. It’s almost too much for him. 

“Still, even after that first failed conversation, I kept trying. Summer workouts passed, I moved into the new house, and I had gotten friendly with almost everyone on the team. Except for Donghyuck, who had been distant and politely detached. He answered my questions, accurately but his responses were always short. He was friendly to a certain degree, he would talk to me, but he didn’t crack jokes with me like he did with Jisung and Chenle. I thought that it was because I was new, and that it would take time for us to get close, but it never changed. We always were acquaintances, but never friends for real.”

Jeno’s voice is disengaged, and his gaze is focused on something behind Donghyuck’s head. Donghyuck can only focus on Jeno, his words, the slight quiver of his hands as they grip the edge of the picnic table, the way he pauses every few seconds to get his thoughts in order. 

“And that hurt. Because I knew that while I got everything I ever wanted from a football team: a starting position, a leadership position, close friends; I lost the opportunity to be friends with you, Donghyuck.”

Jeno stops talking, and Donghyuck takes a second to mull over the words, his heart heavy. Jeno straightens, his eyes clearing like he’s just been pulled out of a daydream after directly addressing Donghyuck. 

Jeno forces a laugh, breaking a piece of the funnel cake off and lifting it to his mouth, his movements stiff, “I don’t know why I told you that. I guess it’s because we’re actually kinda friends now?”

Donghyuck inhales, “I’m really sorry, Jeno. I know my apology means jackshit now, after I treated you so badly last year, but I am. I’d go back in time and take it back if I could, but I can’t. And I don’t have an excuse either. I was literally just a terrible person to you, and I’m gonna do better.”

Jeno waves it off, “Whatever your reasons are, you don’t have to tell me. It’s in the past now. I didn’t tell you all this to make you feel guilty. I’m glad it happened. I think we’ve both come out of this as better people. Besides, you’ve restored the magic of the carnival for me tonight. I had fun with you today.”

Donghyuck nods, though he feels like his throat is closing up and a hammer is pounding against his heart. He doesn’t think he’s a better person now. And playing a few carnival games barely makes up for anything he’s done in the past. All that time he spent, smiling fake smiles, inwardly insulting Jeno when he’s been nothing but nice to him. Donghyuck hates himself for it. 

Jeno reaches out and puts a hand on top of Donghyuck’s, “Eat some of the funnel cake. We should be getting to the basketball station now anyway. Are you all dry now? I think I’m mostly dry.”

Donghyuck runs a hand through his hair. How Jeno can switch between moods and topics so smoothly, Donghyuck has no clue. He forces himself to nod and grab some of the fried pastry anyway, smiling at the taste before directing his best smile at Jeno. 

“I’m glad we’re friends now. I’m gonna make it up to you, I promise. Shitty, underclassmen Donghyuck is from the past, and present Donghyuck is a much better person,” Donghyuck says, standing up and throwing their trash away. 

Jeno beams at him, and Donghyuck’s heart settles down, his heartbeat evening out as he follows Jeno to the basketball station. 

He was going to make the rest of tonight the best carnival experience Jeno has ever had. 

—

“I think you need to reevaluate how you really feel about Jeno,” Mark says, looking up from his homework.

Renjun nods in agreement, his eyebrows pulled together in concern. 

They’re currently seated in Starbucks, working on homework together. Donghyuck can’t concentrate, and they’re having the same conversation they’ve been having ever since the carnival. 

Donghyuck rests his chin in his hand, “I wanna be his friend. He’s funny and nice, and I treated him like shit for two years so I want to make it up to him.”

“Are you doing this because you genuinely like him and want to be his friend or are you just trying to make it up to him? Because those are two very different things, Donghyuck,” Renjun asks, his tone far snappier than Donghyuck expected. 

Donghyuck raises his hands in defense, “Why can’t it be both? I want to make it up to him, but I also wanna be his friend.”

“Because the second you feel like you’ve made it up to him, you’re gonna go back to ignoring him and being distant to him? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Donghyuck, but you’re kinda bad at letting people in and keeping them there. You have a habit of only keeping a few people close to you at a time,” Renjun says, his voice sharp as he sends Donghyuck a look.

Donghyuck knows Renjun is right and everything he’s saying is truthful, but a needle of hurt still makes its way through Donghyuck.

“Renjun,” Mark shoots him a subtle warning look and turns to Donghyuck, and gently, “We don’t want to see Jeno or you get hurt. You’re good at protecting yourself, but Jeno trusts easily. We don’t want him to get used to seeing you being friendly to him one day and ignoring him the next.”   
“I promise you guys, I like Jeno. I’m not jealous of him anymore, and I want to be his friend for real. I’m not gonna hurt him.”

“Again,” Renjun mutters under his breath, protesting when Mark elbows him harshly. 

Donghyuck knows he deserves that one so he stays quiet, directing his gaze back down to his homework. 

“Just be thoughtful about him, Hyuck. That’s all we want,” Mark’s voice is so soft and gentle, like he’s comforting a wounded animal, Donghyuck hates it.    
“Okay, okay, I promise,” Donghyuck retaliates Mark’s assuring glance and turns to Renjun. 

“Can you help me with our history essay now?” he asks, whipping out his cutest pout.

“Save your puppy dog eyes. They don’t work on me,” Renjun sighs but beckons for Donghyuck to slide over his laptop. 

Donghyuck obliges, rolling his eyes before taking a sip of his coffee. Renjun starts looking over the essay, but his phone starts vibrating just as he begins to type. 

Renjun sighs and Donghyuck leans over like the nosy boy he is, trying to read the name on the caller ID. Renjun grabs the phone before Donghyuck can make out the name and he slips out of the booth, lifting the phone to his ears. 

“Hey,” Renjun smiles as soon as the other person starts speaking. It’s an unusual smile on Renjun, defenseless and full of pure joy. 

Donghyuck narrows his eyes, ignoring Mark’s several attempts at conversation. 

“Friday? Yeah, we should be good for Friday. 6, right?” Renjun walks away, but Donghyuck’s brain works to decipher Renjun’s side of the conversation.    
This Friday was the game against Jeno’s previous team, and 7 was when the game began. So why was Renjun making plans for 6 on Friday night when he was supposed to be at the frontlines of the student section, cheering on Donghyuck and the rest of the team?

Donghyuck starts working out scenarios in his head when Mark snaps his fingers in front of Donghyuck’s face. 

“You should focus on your essay,” Mark reminds him. 

“You know who Renjun’s talking to, don’t you?” Donghyuck leans forward, raising his eyebrows at Mark. He channels all his intimidation into the stare, hoping it’ll make Mark crack. 

Mark presses his lips together and looks back down at his math worksheet. He seems intent on keeping this a secret, to the point where Donghyuck is almost worried. 

“Come on, why won’t you guys tell me? I know you’re hiding something from me and I wanna know,” Donghyuck changes his approach and lays his head down on top of his folded arms, looking up at Mark, “Please tell me?”

Mark pokes Donghyuck’s nose and picks up his pencil. Damn. Donghyuck doesn’t think Mark’s ever been this insistent on keeping something from Donghyuck before. Donghyuck pulls his lower lip between his teeth. 

“Is it something I should be worried about?” Donghyuck hates the way his voice unconsciously gets softer and more vulnerable and Mark’s reaction just further confirms that. Mark whips his head up, eyes wide. 

“No! I promise you, it’s nothing you need to worry about. Renjun and I just need some time,” Mark says and Donghyuck nods slowly. 

“So neither of you are with Jeno, right?” Donghyuck can’t stop the question from coming out, but instantly regrets the fact that it does. He inwardly cringes before looking up at Mark. 

Mark raises an eyebrow, “No, neither of us are. Why? Would it bother you if one of us was seeing him?”

“No, no, I just, I was curious,” Donghyuck can’t meet Mark’s eyes and he knows that Mark is sometimes oblivious when it comes to feelings, but this is just too painfully obvious to hide.    
“Don’t worry, Hyuck. Neither of us want Jeno. He’s all yours, but don’t hurt him. We’re your best friends, but we’re also his,” Mark badly winks at Donghyuck and he groans. 

“Shut the hell up,” he mumbles and goes back to work on his essay that Renjun abandoned.

Donghyuck ignores the relief that floods through his stomach at hearing that neither of his best friends have a thing with Jeno. 

—

Donghyuck joins Jeno on the field. It’s colder today, with chilly winds whipping about the stadium. Donghyuck breathes in, taking in the familiar scent of the turf and the clean smell of his jersey. This is their last official game of the season, before playoffs start in two weeks. Sunset’s already qualified for the playoffs, so no one is overly stressed about this game. No one except Jeno, that is.

They’re playing Jeno’s old school today, Northview High, and Jeno’s been nervous, Donghyuck can tell. There’s nothing extra special about Jeno’s old team, except for the fact that they once had Jeno playing alongside them. They know Jeno’s style, common plays, and they know firsthand how Jeno moves on the field. That already gives them an advantage over any of the other teams they’ve played this season. 

Jeno’s clearly been thinking in the same way, judging from the panicked way he’s been nibbling at his bottom lip and staring out at the visitor’s side of the bleachers. Donghyuck hasn’t seen Jeno nervous many times before, and it’s unsettling, no matter how much Donghyuck tells himself that this team isn’t a threat to them. 

Jeno’s eyes are focused on the captain of the opposing team, a boy named Felix, Donghyuck recalls. He knows that Jeno still keeps in touch with most people from Northview. Donghyuck has even met Jeno’s closest friends from his old school, Yukhei and Jaemin, and he knows that it must be weird to be playing against them when they’ve been so accustomed to playing together. 

Last year, Coach Suh did whatever he could to make Jeno feel more comfortable when they played Northview, but this year, Jeno is captain and will have to be on field for the majority of the game. 

Jeno’s come to terms with it, Donghyuck can tell. Though he still looks nervous, he’s standing tall and nods at every player that walks by him. 

Donghyuck lays a gloved hand on Jeno’s shoulder, “You good?”

Jeno nods stiffly, pushing out a breath forcefully, “Gonna be great after we win.”

“Did you talk to them? Jaemin and Yukhei?” Donghyuck looks over to the far sideline where Felix is standing with the rest of the team. He picks out Yukhei easily, he’s the tallest on the team, and he finds Jaemin’s pink hair towards the edge of the huddle. 

Jeno tears his eyes away from the other team. He meets Donghyuck’s gaze, and to Donghyuck’s surprise, there isn’t any unease in them at all. The only emotion showing in his eyes is hard determination, and Donghyuck knows that Jeno will be pushing them all just a bit harder than usual on the field tonight. 

“Yeah, we talked right after school. Both of them just got boyfriends or something, so they barely have any time for me, but everything is good between us,” Jeno’s lips quirk up and Donghyuck nods. 

“We’re gonna win, you know,” Donghyuck points out and starts stretching. Jaemin and Yukhei break away from the huddle and send polite smiles towards Donghyuck before switching their gazes to Jeno. 

Jeno has a quick silent conversation with his friends, just a bunch of suggestive glances from Jaemin and glares from Jeno. When Jaemin and Yukhei turn back to their own team, Jeno’s wearing a bright smile and a light pink blush is covering his cheeks, “I know we will.”

By third quarter, Donghyuck can tell that any nervousness Jeno had been harboring before has been completely wiped away, judging by the steady confidence Jeno holds in him. All that’s left is the familiar ease that Donghyuck has gotten accustomed to seeing. It’s comforting, seeing their captain with his head in the game, nothing there to stop them from taking the win. 

The score is 49-27 — in Sunset’s favor — and Jeno is almost relaxed. Donghyuck guesses that he was only really ever worried because this game will determine if Northview advances to playoffs. Donghyuck knows that Jeno would prefer it if he only had to play his former team once, and Donghyuck is intent on making it happen. 

They’re getting closer to the fourth quarter when Northview starts getting aggressive. They’ve been decently aggressive all night, but Sunset’s defense is pretty unbreakable. Still, Northview gets a couple good hits in, especially to their main safeties. There have been several flags given to both teams so far, and Donghyuck’s left knee is already starting to ache. 

Clearly, it’s not as easy a game as Jeno thought it would be. The rest of the team is holding up decently. Yangyang was subbed out because of a particularly hard tackle and Donghyuck hasn’t been subbed out at all yet, but they’re doing alright for the most part.

As Jeno hikes the ball, Donghyuck prepares himself for the last quarter of their last regular season game. He knows being a senior comes with a lot of lasts, and he wants to acknowledge and make the most out of as many events as he can. 

He takes in the chilly night, the bright lights shining down on the field as the sun starts to set, his teammates, all ready to kick ass. He meets Jisung’s eyes, where he’s about to snap the ball, and manages a nod. Jisung nods back, and fourth quarter starts.

Donghyuck watches as Jeno hands the ball off to Hyunjin, who runs with it. They move down only about twenty yards before Jaemin gets to him, tackling him so that they both fall to the ground. Another safety gets to Hyunjin a second later, adding to the heap that is Hyunjin and Jaemin’s bodies. 

Donghyuck sees Jeno sigh heavily out of the corner of his eye. It’s exhausting, Donghyuck knows, to constantly be on the offense without scoring. It lowers their morale, no matter how much they’re leading by. 

They get back in formation and wait for Jisung to snap the ball. 

Jeno calls out a quiet, “End-around,” but Donghyuck clearly hears it and gets ready for the play.

He’s excited to put in some extra work, ready to see their side of the scoreboard flash and the number increase. 

As soon as Jisung snaps the ball back into Jeno’s hand, Donghyuck turns and takes off in the opposite direction, crossing the field towards Jeno. Their guards and tackles do their best to hold off Northview’s defense, and Donghyuck speeds up, grabbing the ball out of Jeno’s hand. As soon as the ball makes contact with the skin of his hand, he’s sprinting to the other sideline. 

He runs straight down the sideline towards the end zone, clutching the football tight to the side of his body, feeling the wind whip around his face through his helmet and his leg muscles straining against the constant exertion. He can barely feel the exhaustion, all of it is drowned out by the immense adrenaline screaming at him as the end zone becomes clear in Donghyuck’s view.

There are only about twenty-five yards left, and Donghyuck thinks he can make it. He doesn’t hear anyone near him, and the field in front of him is wide open — he’d passed Northview’s defense easily. 

He’s almost home-free, he’s got less than ten yards to go when the wind gets knocked out of him. Arms wrap around his middle, yanking him over the sideline, officially ending the play. The other player stumbles and his helmet thrusts into Donghyuck’s own, and Donghyuck winces as his skull reverberates from the contact. Donghyuck trips, and not even a second later, another, bigger player crashes into him from the other side, and he goes down, his head hitting one of the players’ knees in the process. Both players stumble and fall partly on Donghyuck, eliciting a pained groan from him. 

Donghyuck winces, lifting an arm to his stomach, where he’s sure that his ribs are bruised. He forces his eyes open, the bright lights meeting his blurry gaze. He stifles another groan; he feels so much pain but can’t identify where it’s coming from. His vision is dotted and there are stars as he tries to regain his balance enough to sit. 

“Hey, you good?” Donghyuck’s vision is blurry as he tries to focus on the two players above him, the same two that tackled him. 

Through his blurry double-vision, he makes out Jaemin’s concerned face and Yukhei’s outstretched hand. 

Donghyuck is going to be sick. He hears footsteps, but everything sounds like he’s listening through a film of water, like there’s a barrier diluting the noise. 

“Donghyuck!” Jeno reaches him first, pushing through between Jaemin and Yukhei, and then there are hands around his shoulder; quick, steady hands that examine him to make sure everything is where it’s supposed to be.

Donghyuck can barely muster up a groan as the pounding in his head gets worse. It’s only a couple more seconds before the rest of his teammates are behind Jeno, and Coach Suh is crossing the field to check up on Donghyuck. 

“Okay, let’s get you up. Where does it hurt?” Coach asks as quietly as possible, but it still hurts Donghyuck’s head. 

Donghyuck lifts an arm and gestures to his head and Coach’s expression changes dramatically. Coach gently pulls Donghyuck’s helmet off, instantly relieving some of the pressure from his neck. 

“Okay, we’ll put Yangyang in, come on. Let’s get you some water,” Coach Suh starts to lift Donghyuck up to his feet with the help of Jeno. 

“I got him,” another voice filters into Donghyuck’s ears as he staggers against the new body that pulls him close. 

Donghyuck recognizes the voice as Renjun’s and immediately leans into him. Donghyuck peels his eyes open and takes into account everyone on the field, all his teammates as well as the opponents are all taking a knee. He wants to laugh, because this is not how he wanted the end of his last regular season to go, but he can’t muster anything more than a strained wheeze. 

“It’s fine, Yukhei. It’s part of the game,” Donghyuck vaguely registers Renjun talking, but he can’t focus on the words long enough to truly understand the situation, “I’ll call you later.”

“Make sure he gets water in his system, Renjun,” Coach calls as Renjun tightens his grip on Donghyuck’s arm. He calls out an agreement and they start to walk. Donghyuck is really fine, and other than some dizziness and mild disorientation — both of which should disappear in a few minutes — he’s fine to go back in the game. 

Renjun supports Donghyuck’s weight the whole way off the field. Yangyang gently pats Donghyuck on the shoulder as he jogs towards the rest of the team. 

“Hang in there, okay?” he says with a soft smile, and the change in Yangyang’s usual lighthearted demeanor is enough to confuse Donghyuck again.

“I’m good to go back in,” Donghyuck looks over at Renjun, who just shakes his head and continues leading him over to the bench.    
“Let me grab your water,” Renjun pushes Donghyuck down onto the bench gently, disappearing to grab Donghyuck’s water bottle from his bag. 

Donghyuck looks out onto the field, where everyone has stood up but their eyes are still focused on Donghyuck. He finds Jeno, who has bent his head next to Coach, the two of them talking. It looks serious, but another wave of nausea keeps Donghyuck from thinking too hard about it. Yukhei still looks guilty and his eyebrows are scrunched together with worry, and Donghyuck has the fleeting thought that he looks like an upset puppy and he has the instant urge to ruffle his hair or give him a hug.

Renjun hands him his water bottle along with a Gatorade, and Donghyuck opts for the Gatorade, downing it in a couple seconds. He feels better, but the constant throbbing of his head is too painful to ignore. 

Renjun takes a seat next to him and Donghyuck pulls him close, leaning his head on Renjun’s shoulder. He wants to close his eyes for a few seconds to try to alleviate the ache. 

Through his starred double-vision, he sees Jeno and the rest of the team get back in formation as they get prepared to restart the game. Jeno takes his place behind Jisung, and Donghyuck catches Jeno’s eye. Jeno smiles, but it comes across as him baring his teeth, and Donghyuck can see the glow in Jeno’s eye. There’s blatant focus in there, along with anger and something else Donghyuck can’t make out. He knows that Jeno has the game under control, though. 

So Donghyuck closes his eyes as the whistle blows, willingly leaving everything in Jeno’s hands. 

—

Donghyuck takes a sip of his water, looking outside his window. His curtains are pulled shut, leaving only a sliver of light coming in. He wants to throw the curtains open and stick his head out the window to get some fresh air, to feel the breeze on his face, to hear the birds chirping. Every time he’s opened the window — to his mother’s annoyance — he’s been hit with a severe headache, and he’s reduced to shoving his head between two pillows and screwing his eyes shut tightly. 

It’s only been two days since Donghyuck’s injury happened, but he’s already sick of sitting in bed and doing nothing. He can’t do anything for longer than twenty minutes, or a headache starts to develop, and Donghyuck hates that more than anything. 

He spent most of yesterday sleeping, and now he’s too antsy to sit still or sleep. He distantly hears his siblings shouting from downstairs, and he muffles a groan as a wave of nausea overtakes him. 

He lays his head back down on his pillows, picking up his phone, though he turns to the side so his mom doesn’t kill him if she happens to walk in. 

There’s a couple missed calls and texts from his friends, and he starts replying to a few of them before he hears footsteps coming up the stairs. He tosses his phone aside and grabs his sketchbook that’s been left out on his bedside table, finding a pen and getting started on drawing. 

His mom pokes her head in the doorway first, holding a plate of cut apples with peanut butter on the side. Donghyuck pulls himself up in his bed, accepting the plate from his mom as she comes to stand next to his bed. 

“How are you feeling now?” she asks, pushing some of Donghyuck’s hair away from his forehead. 

Donghyuck shrugs, “All right. I’m so bored, though. I think I’m gonna go crazy. I’m feeling a lot better than yesterday, so I think I should be able to go back to school tomorrow.”

His mother nods, “We’ll see how you’re feeling tomorrow. I think Tuesday is a better choice, so you don’t push yourself too hard.”

“Do you feel well enough for visitors?” his mom smiles at the way Donghyuck knows his face immediately lights up. 

Mark and Renjun had both kept him company while waiting for his parents to get to the stadium so they could take him home. He hadn’t seen anyone since then. He’d gone to the doctor the day before, and Donghyuck knew that his mom had texted his friends an update after the visit. 

“Okay, make sure you eat all of those,” she gestures towards the plate of apples and Donghyuck nods.

“Yeah, let Renjun and Mark in,” he waves it off as the door opens and in tumble his friends.   
Mark is hushing Jisung and Chenle, while Renjun and Jeno come in first. At the back of the group, Yukhei and Jaemin walk in, both of them holding the chocolates and snacks everyone had brought him.    
“Hey, Hyuck,” Mark sits down right next to Donghyuck, and Donghyuck wraps an arm around his best friend. “How are you feeling? Does it hurt?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, “It hurt yesterday, but the doctor said it was a mild concussion, so it should only take about two weeks to fully heal. He said I could go back to school tomorrow if I felt like it, but Mom is gonna make me stay home till Tuesday, probably.”

Jisung takes the spot on Donghyuck’s other side, burrowing under the covers. Just like that, everyone finds a spot on Donghyuck’s bed, leaving only Jaemin and Yukhei standing. 

“Why are you guys still standing? Make yourselves comfortable,” Donghyuck gestures at the last of the empty space on Donghyuck’s bed. 

He has a queen size bed, but he isn’t sure he can fit eight people on it. Jaemin opts for the desk chair and Yukhei drags over the beanbag on the other side of Donghyuck’s bed. 

“We’re really sorry, Donghyuck,” Yukhei starts, but Donghyuck holds up a hand.    
“It’s part of the game. It’s all right, I promise. Happens to everyone. It could’ve easily been me tackling either of you,” Donghyuck shakes his head, smiling a bit, and turns to Yukhei, “Though you’ve got a really good tackle and like seven inches on me.”

Yukhei turns red and Donghyuck notices Renjun’s gentle smile, “Told you he wouldn’t hate you.”

“We brought you a bunch of food to make it up to you,” Jaemin grins and gestures to the snacks they had dumped on Donghyuck’s bed. 

“Are you guys gonna help me eat it? Mom’s gonna kill me if I don’t eat these damn apples,” Donghyuck sighs, dipping an apple slice in the peanut butter before putting it to his mouth. 

Chenle reaches for the plate and Donghyuck lets him grab an apple slice, and just like that, Mark grabs a bag of chips, and everyone makes themselves comfortable. Jisung starts up a conversation with Jaemin about which teams they’ve played so far and which ones they thought were best. 

Jeno takes the chance to turn to Donghyuck and examine his face. He’s sitting right in front of Donghyuck, his eyes wide and wondering as he takes in Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck feels bare under the intensity of Jeno’s gaze and looks away, willing his cheeks to stay a neutral tone. “We won on Friday, right?”

Jeno nods. He’s still looking at Donghyuck, but there’s a small smile playing at the corners of his lips, “Of course we did. I wasn’t gonna let them win after that.”

“You’re not holding a grudge against them, are you? Because it’s a game, and injuries happen. Don’t get mad at your friends for doing what they’re supposed to,” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. The headache he’d had before has faded to some degree, thanks to either the apples he’s eaten, or his friends’ presence. 

Jeno shakes his head, his teeth catching his bottom lip between them, “The game was basically over after you left. Northview pushed, but we weren’t gonna let them do anything. Jaem and Yukhei felt guilty and didn’t even give their all.”

Donghyuck winces. He knows it’s not his fault, but he hates being the reason that the game basically ended. He hates thinking that either team didn't give it their best because Donghyuck had gotten injured. 

Jeno stretches his hand out so their hands brush together gently, and when Donghyuck lifts his gaze to meet Jeno’s, he finds nothing but sincerity in his eyes. 

The room around Donghyuck is still pretty active, Yukhei and Chenle are laughing at something Renjun said, and Jaemin is pinching Jisung’s cheeks, one hand strewn across Mark’s lap. They all look beyond comfortable together, and Donghyuck narrows his eyes. He hadn’t realized that they know each other so well. He’s somewhat suspicious, though he decides to let it go when the familiar throbbing in his head returns. He’s gotten far too familiar with this pain, and he wants to minimize it as much as possible and as soon as possible. 

Chenle is the first to notice Donghyuck’s discomfort, picking himself up off of Donghyuck’s bed and stretching, “We should get going. The prince needs his rest.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. He’s grateful for his friends, no matter how much of a mess they are. 

Renjun pats Donghyuck’s shoulder, pressing a wet kiss to Donghyuck’s cheek, which he wipes off with a loud complaint, “Really, Renjun? That’s fucking nasty.”

Renjun just winks, leaving Mark to tuck Donghyuck under the blankets, tightening them around him, “Text us.”

Jeno is the last to get off of Donghyuck’s bed. “The team wanted me to tell you to get well soon.”

Donghyuck nods, “Tell them I say thanks.”

Jeno smiles and joins everyone at Donghyuck’s door. Jisung and Chenle wave, and they shut the door on their way out of Donghyuck’s room.

Donghyuck sighs, releasing the tension he’d been holding while his friends were in the room. He didn’t want to show it, but his nausea is back in full force.

He barely makes it to the trashcan before he throws up all the apple slices he’d eaten just minutes ago. He hopes that his friends have left the house and don’t hear him tossing his food up. 

—

When Donghyuck goes back to school, it’s with an army of support behind him. His mother gives him a tight hug before Mark pulls into the driveway to give him a ride. His little sister and brothers all give him a hug and kiss on the cheek. 

His little sister, Aeri, hands him a small note written on blue stationery, covered in stickers and small doodles. On the front of the card is a sweetly scrawled ‘get well soon’. Donghyuck grins and lifts his sister up, spinning her around a few times, feeling his heart soar at her delighted squeals. 

“Thank you, Aeri,” he puts her back down and heads out the door. 

Mark gestures to the two coffees in the cupholders. Donghyuck mumbles a thanks and picks up the coffee Mark points to. Donghyuck takes a sip and sighs, savoring the warm comfort the drink brings. Mark bought him his favorite, just a bit sweet and with lots of cream. 

Renjun has already reached the school, Donghyuck assumes, when his phone buzzes every few seconds with texts. He reads all of Renjun’s well-wishes and smiles. 

Lucas and Jaemin had texted him the night before, sending in their own good-luck messages and checking in to see how Donghyuck was feeling. Surprisingly, conversation came easier than Donghyuck had expected, despite only ever talking to them a handful of times before. 

For the most part, Donghyuck’s headaches are minor and only happen after he’s had too much screen time. The nausea has been manageable too, and overall, he feels ready to come back. His mother had forced him to stay home on Monday and Tuesday, so Donghyuck is itching to get back to his normal routine by this point. 

Luckily, his teachers extend deadlines for Donghyuck when he shows them his doctor’s note, and he focuses on catching up the best he can. 

Jeno is sitting at his usual desk when Donghyuck walks into the chemistry classroom, and he takes the seat next to Jeno, sighing when he makes contact with the chair. It’s the last class of the day, and no matter how prepared Donghyuck was, being in school all day took a lot of mental energy and he was starting to feel drained. 

“You okay? How were the rest of your classes?” Jeno looks up from his phone with a smile that slightly falters when he notices the discomfort on Donghyuck’s face. “Is your head hurting?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, gripping the edge of the desk roughly, “No, no, I’m good. It hurts a bit but I think it’ll pass. It’s been a long day.”   
“Don’t overwork yourself,” Jeno says the words so sincerely and seriously, Donghyuck thinks Jeno can probably see through his soul with the weight of his gaze. 

He forces himself to nod and he slows down his movements as he unzips his bag and pulls out his notebook and pencil.

The lesson seems to drag on forever. Donghyuck starts squinting his eyes about thirty minutes into the lecture, trying to make out the equation his teacher had written up on the board. The numbers all seem to be swimming together, and he can feel the pressure behind his eyes build. His head is starting to pound and he knows that he should just call it a day and rest his head, but he’s sick of feeling completely useless. He pushes through, scooting around until he finds an angle that allows him to not strain his eyes as much. He squints hard until the numbers start to come into focus. It only lasts a couple seconds before everything gets blurry again and Donghyuck suppresses an exasperated groan. 

Their teacher cuts them loose, giving them time to work on the problem on the smartboard. The classroom immediately fills with chatter and Donghyuck’s headache starts to worsen until he can’t focus on the problem at all. 

“Hey, don’t stress yourself out over this. You should get some rest,” Jeno pokes Donghhyuck’s ear lightly with the eraser of his pencil. 

Donghyuck sighs, turning to look at Jeno. He knows he’s right, he should take a break, but he stubbornly wants to prove that he can last the whole day, “I’m fine.”

“Donghyuck, you shouldn’t be staring at screens for so long. It’s your first day back. Just take a nap. I’ll take notes for you,” Jeno smiles big, leaning over and grabbing Donghyuck’s notebook. He shuts the notebook before sliding it back over with an expectant look. 

Normally, Donghyuck would push back more, but he’s exhausted. He’s confused and slightly annoyed, but his head hurts too much for him to argue. 

He sags down in his seat, sending an appreciative smile to Jeno, “You don’t have to take notes for me, but thank you.”

“That’s what teammates do,” Jeno pushes his glasses up his nose, sending him a quick smile before turning back to his paper.

Donghyuck ignores the urge to wince when Jeno says teammates, instead choosing to focus on what Jeno is offering him. 

With a fluttery feeling in his stomach, Donghyuck pulls his hood up and lays his head down on the desk, screwing his eyes shut tightly, distantly hearing the sound of Jeno’s pencil scratching against the paper as he works out the problem. 

—

Donghyuck watches the way the team moves on the field. The team moves as one, well-practiced and graceful. Each play is executed well, and if Donghyuck wasn’t so attuned to each player’s strengths and weaknesses, he’d almost believe that the team wasn’t suffering any losses with Donghyuck sitting out.

But Donghyuck can tell that for a millisecond, Jeno hesitates when passing to Yangyang, and Hyunjin keeps looking to his left as if Donghyuck may pass to him from there. They’re minor tells, ones that no one else, not even Coach Suh would be able to pick up, but Donghyuck has been playing with these boys for most of his childhood and high school career. He knows what each and every one of their motions mean. 

Donghyuck is getting unsettled sitting in one place. He had a hard time sitting out of practice both this week and last, and he’s ready to get back into it. Donghyuck is honestly completely healed, and all he needs is his doctor’s confirmation, and he can get back to playing the game he loves. 

He still isn’t quite sure that this is reality. He’s sitting out of their playoff game with a concussion. It seems surreal to him, both because Donghyuck has had his fair share of injuries, but none this severe, and because this season was supposed to go on without a hitch. And this is a pretty big hitch in his season. 

They’re losing the game right now, which worries Donghyuck, of course, but he has faith that his team will turn the game around. It’s only the second quarter, after all, and lots can happen even between now and halftime. 

Coach Suh is standing a bit down the sideline from the bench, and Donghyuck can see him analyzing the field the same way that Donghyuck is. Despite being generally easy going, his game face is determined and closed off. He’s attentive, which calms Donghyuck down. He knows they’re going to win this. 

“How are you feeling?” Chenle asks from next to him as Donghyuck returns his focus to the field. 

“Okay. I wanna be out there playing,” Donghyuck sighs, leaning back and turning his head over to Chenle. 

“They’re doing well out there, aren’t they,” Chenle observes, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. Donghyuck follows his gaze to the field, where his eyes are unsurprisingly following Jisung. 

“They’re good players. They always perform well,” Donghyuck says, hoping it doesn’t come out as bitter as he feels. 

He’s just  _ sick _ of being sidelined. All he wants is to play the sport he loves with the people he loves. 

It’s Chenle’s turn to follow Donghyuck’s gaze that is focused on the one person Donghyuck is always looking at on the field. 

Jeno is playing as smoothly as ever, passing the ball as hard as he can, running with it as far as he can. He’s a good player; he knows his strengths and uses them to his advantage. He knows his weaknesses and leaves them off the field, leaving nothing but an impeccable player.

Donghyuck is done being envious of Jeno, but there’s always something he can learn from Jeno. Jeno’s footwork is especially impressive. The way he moves is swift, always with a purpose, and it’s pretty clear why Jeno was chosen to be both the leader of this team as well as the starting quarterback. 

“You and Jeno are cool now, right?” Chenle pipes up again, looking over at Donghyuck curiously.

Donghyuck nods. They are friends now. “Yeah, we’re cool. There’s no point in hating him over things neither he or I can control.”

Chenle beams at him, leaning over and bumping his shoulder into Donghyuck’s. “You know, he told me once that he believed that you deserved the captain position.”

Donghyuck huffs out a laugh, his eyes finding Jeno’s figure on the field again. They’re in the middle of a play, Jeno has hurtled the ball down the field, with Yangyang grabbing it out of the air and sprinting. He makes it a little over 25 yards before he gets taken down. 

“Jeno’s too nice for his own good. He’s rightfully captain,” Donghyuck says, and it feels good to say it. 

Chenle nods in agreement and they focus on the game again. There’s less than a minute for the half to end and Donghyuck finds himself scooting to the edge of the bench in anticipation. 

Sunset ends up winning the game, and as Donghyuck and Chenle jump up as the buzzer goes off, running straight to their team, Jeno catches Donghyuck’s eye and eagerly smiles at him. Donghyuck thinks Jeno is literally glowing on the field as he reaches them, jumping right onto Hyunjin and Jeno, smiling so wide he thinks his cheeks are going to split. 

—

Donghyuck is halfway to the practice field when his mom calls him. Practice has been going well since he’s officially been back, fully recovered from his concussion. It’s only been a week or so since he’s been cleared to play, so he’s still taking it easy, but he’s ready to push his energy to the highest gear when semifinals roll around. 

“Donghyuck, honey, I’m gonna need you to pick Aeri up from school. I had a meeting that ran late, and I just left work. I’m not gonna make it to the school on time. You know how the traffic is,” his mother explains. Her voice is tired and Donghyuck feels a twinge of sympathy, overshadowing the exasperation he feels when he realizes that he’s going to miss practice. 

“I have practice, Mom,” he deadpans, though he’s already turned back around, heading for his car. 

“I know, Hyuckie, I’m sorry. Your dad is in a meeting as well, or I would’ve asked him,” his mom’s voice is so strained and dejected, Donghyuck doesn’t have the heart to argue anymore. 

“Okay, Mom. I’m leaving now.”

“Drive safe, honey. Oh, and Dongmin has robotics today until 5, so you only need to pick up Aeri.”

“Got it, bye,” Donghyuck says and hangs up, already back in the parking lot.

Luckily, he hasn’t changed into his practice gear yet, so it only takes him about three minutes to leave the school. 

Aeri and Dongmin’s school lets out thirty minutes after the high school does, so Donghyuck only has about 10 minutes to get there before the bell rings.

The roads are clear, though, and approximately eight minutes later, Donghyuck pulls into the parent pickup line, releasing a deep breath as he rolls down the window.

There’s a bad feeling in his stomach as he waits, but he can’t put a finger on it. He knows it’s not because he’s missing practice. He’s never missed practice before, so he thinks Coach will let it slide. 

Children start to pour out of the building as the bell chimes, and Donghyuck keeps an eye out for Aeri. She doesn’t know to expect Donghyuck’s car instead of their mom’s, so he starts looking for his sister’s two braids and purple backpack. 

Ten minutes later, Aeri still hasn’t come out of the building yet. Donghyuck is starting to get worried because there are only a handful of cars left in the line, and no more children are coming out of the school. The uneasy feeling in his stomach is back in full force and it’s so overwhelming that Donghyuck can barely keep himself from jumping out of the car and searching the school. He feels like there’s something  _ wrong _ , and he can’t figure out what. 

He tells himself he’s gonna wait two more minutes, and if she still isn’t out, he’s gonna go in and find her himself. Donghyuck bites his lip hard, his eyes searching the front of the school over and over, looking for any sign of his youngest sibling.

As soon as the two minutes pass, no trace of Aeri, Donghyuck throws the car into park and gets out, nearly sprinting into the school. There are only two cars outside now, and Donghyuck can’t stifle the full-blown panic that’s taking form in his body. 

Aeri is generally a good kid—mischievous and goofy, of course—so she’s never pulled this sort of thing before. She’s mature for her age, the same way Dongmin was when he was younger. 

Donghyuck pulls the door open to the school. He hasn’t been back to the elementary school since the carnival, but he doesn’t have time to marvel at the new artwork that has been put up since that day. 

He goes straight to the third grade wing. He finds the locker that says Aeri’s name, popping it open to find it empty. So she had gotten her backpack after school had ended. Donghyuck sighs, slamming the locker shut and running a hand through his hair. He only has a few ideas of where Aeri could be and none seem very promising. 

He pokes his head into Aeri’s classroom. Empty. Donghyuck clenches his jaw but takes off in the other direction, heading for the back doors.

He exits the building, passing by a few kids who give him strange looks. He jogs towards the playground, spotting a small figure on the swings. There’s a purple backpack next to the swingset. 

Donghyuck stops running, catching his breath as he takes in a huge gulp of air. Panicking is almost worse than the physical exertion of sprinting through the school. 

“Aeri!” Donghyuck kneels in front of his little sister, tilting her head up to face him. 

Her eyes are red, hair stuck to her wet cheeks. She looks miserable and it only gets worse when she sees Donghyuck. 

“Aeri, what happened?” Donghyuck asks, but Aeri just shakes her head and throws herself into Donghyuck’s arms. The force causes him to fall back into the mulch, and he winces as he sits, wrapping an arm around his sister. “I was so worried about you.”

Aeri squeezes him tight and Donghyuck runs his hand through her hair. It’s unsettling to see her this way, so distraught and unhappy, but Donghyuck keeps his lips sealed. 

When Aeri calms down, Donghyuck places her in the mulch next to him and he reaches for her backpack. He knows their mom has put a small pouch full of emergency essentials, the same way she did for Donghyuck and the rest of their siblings when they were younger. He finds the packet of tissues he was looking for, pulling one out and gently wiping Aeri’s face before holding it out for her to blow her nose in. 

When she’s all cleaned up, holding her water bottle tightly against her chest, Donghyuck initiates the conversation. 

“What happened, Aeri?” Donghyuck pushes some of her hair away from her face. 

She looks away, her lower lip trembling slightly. 

“Hey, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on,” Donghyuck reminds gently. 

Aeri sighs, “I hate going to school. Samuel said I cheated on our math test, but he only said it because I’m better at math than him. It’s not my problem if he can’t add numbers right.”

“Did you tell your teacher?” Donghyuck asks. 

Aeri shakes her head, “He said it during recess. He’s so mean to everyone that’s smarter than him.”

“Well, if you didn’t cheat, then don’t be upset. People usually pick on others when they’re jealous. And it sounds like this Samuel boy is jealous of you,” Donghyuck says it calmly, but inside, he wants to tell Aeri to beat the shit out of whoever is picking on her. 

“Jealous of me?” Aeri asks, looking up at Donghyuck with wide eyes. 

Donghyuck nods, “But don’t give him any more attention. If he’s mean to you, just ignore him or tell your teacher.”

“Have you ever been jealous of someone, Donghyuck?” Aeri plays with the keychains on her backpack.

Donghyuck wants to laugh. He’s been jealous of more people than he’d like to admit.

“Yeah, I have,” he nods, his mind going straight to the captain of the football team. 

“Were you ever mean to the person you’re jealous of?” Aeri asks. 

In the moment, he hates how children are always so curious about everything and have no sense of boundaries. Still, he knows deep down that he has to be as honest as possible to Aeri. 

Donghyuck nodded, “It wasn’t a good thing and I’m not happy I did it. Sometimes, when people are upset, they blame others and take out their feelings on other people. That’s what I did.”

“But you stopped, right?” Aeri was looking up at him with scrutiny, searching his eyes. 

“Yes. Being mean to other people for being better than you is wrong,” Donghyuck grins, “But if Samuel keeps bothering you, make sure you tell your teacher or me or Mom, all right?”

Aeri beams, “Sure! I knew Donghyuckie wasn’t mean!”

Donghyuck laughs, the final remnants of tension diffusing out of his body. “You wanna get ice cream? You have to promise that you won’t sit out here by yourself again.”

Aeri shrieks with excitement, grabbing her backpack and pulling at Donghyuck’s hand impatiently, “Yes! Yes, yes! I promise! Hurry! I’m hungry!”

“You weren’t hungry five seconds ago,” Donghyuck grumbles, but the affectionate smile on his face as Aeri pulls him across into the school gives him away. 

Donghyuck ushers both of his younger siblings into the car, handing Dongmin the cup of ice cream that had just started melting. 

“How was robotics, Dongmin?” Donghyuck asks, looking in the rearview mirror at his younger brother in the backseat. 

He and Aeri had gotten ice cream and had waited for Dongmin to finish up with robotics before Donghyuck went back to the school to pick him up. Aeri had told him the events of the day, save for what happened with Samuel, and Donghyuck had returned the favor. 

“It was good! We just finished building the robot today, and we’re going to start programming it next week. My teacher said I was going to be in charge of programming, and that I got to choose my team for programming,” Dongmin recounts, and Aeri pokes Dongmin’s arm, squealing out with happiness for him. 

Donghyuck grins, Aeri is always the happiest of the siblings, and Donghyuck loves to see it. He tightens his grip on the wheel, lowering his window, letting the cool breeze whip into his face. Now that he can drive again, he’s taken up every and any opportunity to do it. Needless to say, his mother has sent him on several grocery runs. 

“Do you guys wanna play some music?” Donghyuck asks, already grabbing his phone from the cupholder and passing it back.

“It’s dead,” Dongmin says and Donghyuck can picture the frown that must be on his face. 

“Hyuckie never charges his phone,” Aeri pipes up and Donghyuck laughs.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he takes the phone back from Dongmin, dropping it back into the cupholder. 

When Donghyuck turns onto their street, he spots a familiar car standing on his street in front of his house. He narrows his eyes but slows down as he turns into the driveway, spotting the silhouette of a boy leaning against the garage. 

“Dongmin, Aeri, go inside and get changed. Mom isn’t home yet, so I’ll make you something to eat in a few minutes. Let me talk to Jeno real quick, all right?” Donghyuck can’t take his eyes off of the worried look on Jeno’s face that barely subsides once he meets Donghyuck’s eyes. 

“Sure Donghyuck! Hi Jeno!” Aeri chirps, hopping out of the car and pulling her backpack on behind her. Jeno waves at her as she passes by him. 

Donghyuck hands Dongmin his keys before walking over to Jeno, shoving his hands in his pocket. 

“Are you okay?” Jeno asks as Donghyuck stops a few steps in front of Jeno. Jeno’s eyes are searching his, worry mixing with exasperation. Jeno’s still dressed in his practice uniform, Donghyuck notes. 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” Donghyuck’s tone is nonchalant, strikingly different from Jeno’s worried one. 

Jeno sags back against the garage, reaching a hand to rub at the back of his head, “You missed practice and didn’t tell anyone. We were worried. You’ve never missed practice before. We thought you might’ve gotten hurt or your concussion was acting up again.”

Donghyuck’s hit with a wave of guilt, “Fuck, I forgot to text Coach. Aeri pulled a disappearing stunt on me and my phone died before I could text Coach. Is he mad?”

Jeno was shaking his head, “No, he was worried though. We all texted and called you a bunch of times. He’ll probably make you run a couple extra laps tomorrow.”

Donghyuck laughs, “I deserve that.”

Jeno kicks at a pebble on the concrete, “ Well, if everything is good, I wanted to ask if you could help me with my homework?”

When Donghyuck looks up, there’s a glint of something in Jeno’s eye before it’s gone, though his tone is different than it usually is. It’s like he’s asking Donghyuck to challenge him or something; Donghyuck isn’t quite sure what the look means.

Donghyuck nods anyway, he needs to work on his own homework anyway. “Come on in.”

While Donghyuck gets some water on the stove, pulling out plates for his siblings, Jeno takes a seat at the kitchen island, observing the way Donghyuck moves around the kitchen. 

“Do you usually take care of your siblings like this?” Jeno asks, setting his chin on his palm.

Donghyuck shrugs, “Just when my parents are working.”

“And that happens pretty often,” Jeno guesses, watching the way Donghyuck’s hands still as he stirs the pasta. 

“It doesn’t matter. My parents are busy people, and I’m much older than my siblings anyway.”

Jeno nods, “Do you want help with anything?”

“I don’t want your pity, Jeno. I’m here to help you with your homework and that’s it,” Donghyuck’s tone is short and he regrets it for a second or two, but he’s had a long day and all he wants to do is lay in bed and draw. 

Jeno rolls his eyes, but Donghyuck’s anger flares up, “What? What’s up with you today?”

Jeno’s been more forward today, like the layer of nervousness and self-restraint that he had been wearing all year has been diminished. It’s strange, and maybe Donghyuck should ask why Jeno’s acting this way, but he simply doesn’t have the energy. And maybe Donghyuck is looking for a fight. 

Jeno clenches his jaw, the only real sign of his anger — there’s amusement playing in his eyes which only further irritates Donghyuck — and he leans forward, “Do you really think I need help with chem homework? Every other day? As someone who will be majoring in engineering next year?”

Donnghyuck had thought that was strange but he’d never thought about it too hard, “I don’t know. It’s not my place to judge you.”

Jeno forces a laugh and shakes his head, “Yeah, like you haven’t been doing that every day for the past year and a half. Think about it. Why would I voluntarily spend so much time with you? Why would I ever want to be subject to your criticisms and sharpness?”

Donghyuck’s had enough. He has no idea what Jeno’s playing at. His movements are jagged and pointed as he plates the pasta he’d made for his siblings. 

“I don’t fucking know! So you could gain information on me and hold it above my head? So you could figure out my weaknesses and use them against me?” Donghyuck turns to face Jeno, just to see a cloud of hurt pass through Jeno’s eyes that he fails to mask fast enough. 

Jeno scoffs, and sags back in his chair. He shakes his head and Donghyuck catches the fire in them, “You still think of me as a competitor. Even now. You’re an idiot, Donghyuck Lee. I joined this team because I wanted to be your friend. I’ve spent a year and a half trying to get in your good graces, trying to be your friend. I have a good grade in chem. Do I really need to spell it out more? I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

Jeno’s standing up, leaning forward across the island so he and Donghyuck are face to face, only an inch or two separating their faces, his voice suddenly low, “I want to be your goddamn friend, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck stumbles back, stunned. He’d had no idea. He’d known Jeno wanted to be his friend, but not that he’d go to this length for it. Not that he’d give Donghyuck so many chances and Donghyuck would still manage to fuck it up every time. Jeno’s breathing hard, his face flushing red, but he doesn’t back away. He’s still staring at Donghyuck with determination in his eyes. Donghyuck wonders if this is what their opponents see on the field. Donghyuck wouldn’t mind seeing Jeno like this every once in a while, ruffled and swept off his feet like a city after a tornado. 

Aeri chooses that moment to waltz into the kitchen — literally. She twirls into the kitchen, performing a pirouette with no care in the world, like she hadn’t just heard Donghyuck and Jeno’s entire conversation. 

Donghyuck breaks his gaze away from Jeno, ignoring the burning stare directed at the side of his head. He picks up Aeri’s plate, handing it to her. 

“Dongmin!” Donghyuck calls up the stairs as he hears his younger brother coming down, “Call Beomsun down for dinner too, please.”

“Okay,” he hears back. 

When all of his siblings are seated around the table, eating silently and entertaining themselves, Donghyuck takes the chance to pull Jeno into the living room, inspecting his face. 

All the courage had seemed to drain away from Jeno, and now he was silently looking down at the floor. 

“I’m sorry for treating you like shit, Jeno. You don’t deserve that,” Donghyuck says, folding his hands into fists and then unfolding again, repeating the motions. 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. I don’t why I did it,” Jeno mumbles, the tips of his ears still red. 

Donghyuck smiles, a small, bashful smile. “Come on. Even if you don’t need my help for chem, we can still keep each other company while we do it. Maybe I’ll need your help.”

Jeno looks up, searching Donghyuck’s eyes for a second. His eyes hold nothing but calm happiness. “Okay,” he agrees, then shakes his head, “You are an idiot, Donghyuck. I thought you knew.”

“I guess I can be an idiot sometimes,” Donghyuck laughs, his heart lifting when Jeno smiles, “But first, do you wanna eat? I’m starving, and I made enough pasta for you too,” Donghyuck asks, pushing Jeno back towards the kitchen gently. 

“Yes, I’m starving. And I wanna talk to my favorite Lee sibling about robotics,” Jeno teases, taking a seat next to Dongmin.

Donghyuck can’t hold back his smile as he takes the seat across from Jeno, ignoring Aeri’s incessant poking in his side, asking why he’s so happy when he and his friend were yelling ten minutes ago.

—

The paper that Donghyuck just ripped out of his sketchbook and tossed towards the trashcan lands a couple inches off the target. Donghyuck sighs and gets up, walking over to pick up the crumpled piece of failed artwork. 

He drops back into his chair and slumps forward, laying his head on his arm. None of the ideas he’s had so far for this assignment have turned out right yet. 

Their assignment is to create a sculpture that explores the relationship between soft and hard materials, and everyone but Donghyuck seems to be bursting with ideas and inspiration. Every idea Donghyuck has sketched out so far has ended up faulty, either he knows he won’t be able to execute it perfectly, or he just hates the idea. 

Even Renjun, who was just complaining of artist’s block this morning, has his head bent over a piece of paper as he drafts his idea. 

Donghyuck looks at the clock. He still has an hour until this class is over and he can feel a headache coming on. He still has chemistry after this, and after that, football practice. Donghyuck really just wants to play video games and he’s strangely craving tacos. Overall, he really just can’t focus on schoolwork right now. 

He picks up his pencil, allowing himself to slack off for a bit, just to sketch for a couple minutes before he gets back to work on thinking of an idea for his assignment. 

He has his music playing through his earphones and he detaches from his brain, letting his hand float over the paper freely. The music he’s listening to is upbeat and has happy, contagious vibes. Donghyuck tunes into the music, soaks in the good vibes, and draws. 

He’s not sure how long he ends up drawing for. He only snaps back to his conscious self when his playlist has been played through fully and unfamiliar music starts blasting in his ears. 

He jolts up, turning his music down and glancing back at the clock quickly. Thirty minutes, that’s all the time he has left in this class. Donghyuck sighs before turning back to his drawing. 

He looks down, and his eyes widen comically.  _ Holy shit _ . Donghyuck had started sketching the face of a man, which was his default when it came to mindless sketching. That wasn’t the problem, though. 

He had been drawing from memory, but it was still clear who the sketch was portraying. The sketch was rough, barely more than an outline, but it was enough. A big, sweet smile that revealed stick-straight teeth, fluffy hair that fell over the forehead, and the most defining feature was the detailed eye smile. It was impossible to mistake him for anyone else. 

Donghyuck had drawn Jeno, holding a football, arm wound back like he was about to throw. It was decently detailed, and Donghyuck had no idea how this happened. 

It wasn’t often that Donghyuck drew people he knew. It was something he actually hated doing, because he could never get the portrait to look completely accurate. His sketch of Jeno wasn’t completely accurate, either, but it was good enough to tell who it was. 

Donghyuck knows his cheeks are burning bright red, and he’s frozen in place like he doesn’t have control over his limbs. 

“Donghyuck, you good?” he hears Renjun ask from across the table. He looks up, and Renjun is looking at him with worry in his eyes. 

Donghyuck stifles the embarrassment and whatever else he’s feeling, pushes all his emotions down deep and manages a smile, “Yeah, I’m good. Just can’t think of a good idea for our assignment.”

Renjun leans over the table, “Let me see what you have so far. It’s probably good, you just—woah.”

Renjun looks up at Donghyuck with a stunned expression. Apparently Donghyuck’s sketch was good enough that Renjun could identify who he’d drawn even though it was upside down. 

Renjun grins, poking his hand into Donghyuck’s shoulder, “So much for not liking to draw people. Clearly Jeno is an exception.”

“Shut up,” Donghyuck hisses, his cheeks going warm again as he shifts around, making sure no one else is looking in his direction.

“Mark’s gonna have a field day when I tell him about this,” Renjun snickers, poking Donghyuck again. “What? Don’t tell me you're upset about this?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, “Just confused.”

Renjun leans back, examining the paper, “It’s really good, though. You should give it to him. He’d love it.”   
“I know he would,” Donghyuck mutters, but there’s something floating in his stomach that he can’t pick apart. 

“You’re more confused about your feelings than I thought you’d be,” Renjun observes, picking up his pencil again, “Will you look over my sketch and tell me if it makes sense?”   
Donghyuck nods and accepts the paper Renjun hands him. He can’t get his sketch out of his head, though, and what it means that Donghyuck chose to draw Jeno out of all people.

—

“I’m gonna be late for practice, I gotta go,” Donghyuck reminds Mark, who seems to have no concern about that. 

Mark waves it off, “You have to show Jeno that sketch. Maybe it’ll help the two of you come to terms with your feelings.”

“I’m not showing him anything,” Donghyuck says, though he can’t suppress the giddy feeling that rises up in him at the thought of Jeno. It’s a new feeling, something that Donghyuck pushes away instantly. “I need to go, I’m gonna be so late.”

“Fine, I’ll talk to you later. Show it to him!” Mark yells as Donghyuck starts jogging down the hallway.    
He’s got three minutes to get to the locker rooms, so he slows down a bit when he turns into the athletic wing.

Chem had been torture, with Jeno sitting next to him, all Donghyuck could think about was his sketch from the class period before. It had gone by slowly enough that Donghyuck was able to ponder in his thoughts, though it only made him more confused than before. 

Donghyuck pushes the door to the locker room open quietly. Getting changed and out to the practice field unnoticed is his goal. He’s not in the mood for getting singled out by Coach Suh today. He hears chatter by the lockers as the last few boys get dressed. 

He’s about to pass the bathrooms when he hears his name, and he stops. He’s just around the corner, out of sight from everyone who is getting dressed. 

“Donghyuck? What do I think about him?” Jeno sounds suspicious, “You guys know how I feel about him.”

Jeno sounds defensive to Donghyuck’s ears. He can’t tell who asked him what, but he leans out just a bit, pushing away from the wall.

Hyunjin and Yangyang are leaning against the lockers in front of Jeno, who is in the process of tying his shoes. 

“Yeah, but we just want to know what you think of his captaining ability. Do you think he would’ve been a good captain?” Hyunjin asks, crossing his arms against his chest. 

The conversation is friendly enough, but Donghyuck is curious as to why they want to know this. Hyunjin and Yangyang have always been good friends to Donghyuck, so it’s likely that they’re just curious to know if Jeno thinks Donghyuck could be a good leader, but he’s unsure if there’s a hidden meaning to the question. 

Jeno seems to think about it, his hands slowing down on his laces. He looks up, and there’s no hesitance on his face, “Yeah, I think Donghyuck would have easily been captain. He would’ve been good at it too.”

Yangyang nods, but Jeno continues on. “He’s a good leader. He talks and people listen. He genuinely wants the best for the team and is always willing to learn. He’s dependable, and I think he would’ve made a good captain.”

Donghyuck’s heart inflates, and Donghyuck is sure that if Jeno keeps talking, he’ll inflate so much his feet will lift off the ground with the amount of euphoria he’s feeling. Jeno’s never been shy with his compliments, but Donghyuck never listened to them before either. 

“But?” Yangyang prods when Jeno bites at his lip with uncertainty. 

“But sometimes he thinks only with his heart, and that’s a good thing in some situations, but not always. He’s also very forward, and he lets his emotions get the best of him.”

Jeno’s face is set, like he had thought about his answer beforehand, and he says it so casually, Donghyuck’s stomach churns. 

If Donghyuck had waited for another second or two, he’d realize that Jeno’s never criticized him like this before, but Donghyuck can’t help but to barge further into the locker room, making his presence known to everyone in the team. 

A hush falls over the room, though there’s only a few other boys in there other than Jeno, Hyunjin, and Yangyang. Donghyuck knows that his face is betraying him — showing his anger loud and clear — and beyond that, his movements are clipped and short, abnormal enough that they attract everyone’s attention as he moves to his locker, right across from Jeno’s. 

“Shit,” Yangyang whispers below his breath, and Donghyuck rolls his eyes. 

“Everyone, get dressed and get out to the field. You guys are gonna be late if you don’t head out now,” Jeno instructs to the rest of the team, but his eyes are solely focused on Donghyuck.    
His words make Donghyuck flinch, reminding him of the bitter reality of what Jeno thinks Donghyuck’s leadership is like. Yangyang pats Donghyuck’s shoulder in support on his way out. 

He busies himself with peeling his shoes off, throwing on his practice uniform as quickly as possible, so that maybe, just maybe, he can make it out with the last of the team. The last thing he wants is to be stuck alone with Jeno, where he can try to explain and make it seem—

“Donghyuck, wait! It’s not like that. How much did you hear?” Jeno asks as soon as the locker room is empty, his voice pleading. Donghyuck doesn’t have to look up to know that he’s rubbing the back of his neck and shifting from foot to foot. 

“It doesn’t matter. I heard enough to know just what you think I’m capable of as a leader,” Donghyuck looks up, meeting Jeno’s eyes with a hard gaze. 

Just as expected, Jeno’s eyes are pleading with him and Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s ever resembled a puppy more. Still, the harsh words Jeno had spoken about him not even five minutes ago still sting, so Donghyuck looks back down, slipping on his tennis shoes.

Today’s conditioning day, so on top of his bad mood, Donghyuck will have to work together with Jeno to lead all the conditioning drills they have planned. 

Jeno closes the gap between his locker and Donghyuck’s, stopping inches from Donghyuck, Jeno’s shoes right in front of his own feet.

“Donghyuck, please. You know I wouldn’t say something like that just to be cruel,” Jeno’s voice is softer now, more steady, “Please hear me out.”   
Jeno’s right, Donghyuck knows. He wouldn’t say something like that, especially not to someone else behind Donghyuck’s back, the rational portion of Donghyuck’s mind supplies. 

He falters where he was tying his shoes, straightening before facing Jeno. “We’re gonna be late.”

“Coach can lead stretches. I’ll tell him that my stomach was upset and you were helping me in case I threw up,” Jeno says and it’s such a weak lie that Donghyuck laughs, bright and clear.

“Hear me out, Hyuck. I know you would be a great leader. You would do amazing. You’re strong where I’m not. You’re reliable, friendly, stubborn when you need to be, and you know everyone on this team, inside and out. The team would be lucky to have you as a leader. They’re already lucky to have you as a player,” Jeno stumbles over his words, his face getting red as he keeps talking, and Donghyuck’s heart softens. 

“Do I need to keep going? Bottom line is, I think you’d be amazing as a leader and the only reason I listed out your flaws was because Hyunjin and Yangyang were curious to see where I thought you could improve. They’ve been bugging me about it all week, so I thought I’d just tell them.” 

“You could keep going on, I wouldn’t mind,” Donghyuck says with a sly smile that only lasts a second or two, “I want to trust you, Jeno, I do. I know you aren’t a bad person. In fact, you’re probably one of the best people I know. But I get so jealous because you have everything I want. Everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Donghyuck's voice gets less audible the longer he speaks, though he knows that Jeno can hear every word he utters. The air in the room has changed, and Donghyuck refuses to look up at Jeno. He’s never intended on being so vulnerable in front of him. But he’s put everything out into the air and now he’s not sure what Jeno will think. 

When he looks up, Jeno’s face is soft, and his eyes hold gentle adoration. Donghyuck’s heart squeezes, almost painfully, as he waits for Jeno to speak. 

Jeno’s voice is soft, but firm as he locks eyes with Donghyuck, “I’d give it to you the second you asked.”   
Donghyuck sags back against the bench, watching Jeno’s face go red. He doesn’t retreat from his position, his face still only a couple inches from Donghyuck’s. Jeno’s words ring in Donghyuck’s mind, again and again.  _ I’d give it to you the second you asked. _ As much as Jeno claimed to be somewhat shy, he certainly didn’t show it to Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck!” footsteps clamber, getting louder until Jisung’s fluffy black hair pops into Donghyuck’s line of sight, “Come on, you guys. We’re already done stretching and Coach is gonna make you do extra conditioning if you don’t get out there.”

Jeno doesn’t move, his feet rooted in the ground and eyes rooted on Donghyuck. His eyes are clear, and Donghyuck knows Jeno is telling the truth. He can’t be angry at Jeno anymore. He likes him far too much for that. 

It’s that simple. That’s all it takes for Donghyuck to understand his feelings. 

“Donghyuck, let’s go,” Chenle yanks at Donghyuck’s arm, Jisung going to Jeno. Donghyuck stumbles out behind Chenle, but when he looks back, Jeno is still looking at him, the same adoration from before still in his eyes. 

_ I’d give it to you the second you asked.  _

“Why were Yangyang and Hyunjin asking Jeno about that in the first place? About my captaining abilities?” Donghyuck asks, fiddling with his keys in his hand.

He, Jisung, and Chenle are walking to the parking lot, and Jisung and Chenle fall silent at Donghyuck’s question, their previous conversation about their math class forgotten. 

He watches his two friends exchange a look of uncertainty before turning back to him. Chenle shoots Jisung a questioning look, but Jisung opens his mouth, the words spilling out of him. 

“Yangyang had the idea of putting a page in the yearbook dedicated to the seniors of all sports and activities! Each team or group gets to pick one senior that they think deserves to be highlighted, and then everyone on the team gets to talk about the senior they chose. None of the seniors know about it, except Yangyang and Jeno, of course. And everyone on the football team chose you,” Jisung explains, while Chenle huffs out an exasperated breath, shaking his head. 

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Chenle mutters, but Donghyuck’s mind is still reeling from Jisung’s words. 

“Everyone picked me?” Donghyuck finds it hard to believe that no one voted for Jeno or Yangyang. 

Jisung nods with enthusiasm, “Yeah! It was unanimous. Even Coach voted for you, though it doesn’t really count for much.”

“Yangyang and Hyunjin like drama, that’s why they asked Jeno what you could improve. And Jeno knew something was up, but he answered because he didn’t want to make it a big deal,” Chenle rolls his eyes, throwing his bag in the backseat of his car. Jisung joins him in the passenger seat, the two of them waving at Donghyuck. 

“Why didn’t he just tell me that? I was angry at him for no reason,” Donghyuck bites his lip, thinking of Jeno’s hurt face and the way he complimented Donghyuck’s playing style. 

“He really wanted to surprise you with it,” Chenle says simply, getting into the car. 

“Text us if you wanna talk! And talk to Jeno, for sure.  _ Please _ don’t be mad at him. I don’t want to see a moody Jeno tomorrow at practice. He turns into a sad bear or something when he’s upset,” Jisung shudders at the thought and Donghyuck cracks a smile. 

“I think we’re good now,” Donghyuck says, getting into his own car, shouting a quick goodbye as Jisung and Chenle leave. 

_ I’d give it to you the second you asked.  _

—

**_FROM: COACH SUH - 8:37 AM_ **

Donghyuck and Jeno, will you two come to my office

either during lunch or during a free period? 

Preferably together, if possible. 

**_TO: LEE JENO, COACH SUH - 8:42 AM_ **

sure coach

lunch works fine for me

**_FROM: LEE JENO - 8:43 AM_ **

lunch works for me too

see you then

Coach can’t possibly expect Donghyuck to be able to focus on class after that text, he thinks as he looks back down at his math homework. His mind is whirling. Coach really only calls players into his office when he has something more serious to talk about. 

Donghyuck was called into Coach’s office during lunch when he was informed that Jeno was voted captain rather than Donghyuck, and last time the both of them were in Coach’s office, it was when Coach told them to get over their differences.

If Donghyuck’s gut is telling him right, then Coach is going to be speaking to them about the same thing. Except, Donghyuck isn’t sure what warranted this. They’ve been playing well together since Donghyuck came back from his concussion, though it’s only been about a month since then. They had been colder towards each other a couple of days ago when the locker room incident happened, but it had gotten better already; it wasn’t a big deal. 

Which is why Donghyuck is confused. He’s not sure what exactly Coach wants to say to them, and while he’s not a worrier, he hates the suspense Coach is putting him through. 

Lunch rolls around quickly enough, and after Donghyuck gets his lunch and tells Renjun and Mark where he’s going to be, he and Jeno traipse through the hallways, dodging stray freshmen.

As they near the athletic wing of the school, where Coach’s office is nestled between the locker rooms and the main gym, Jeno finally speaks up. 

“Do you know what Coach wants to talk to us about?” he asks and they turn into the hallway leading to Coach’s office. Things have been slightly more awkward between them since the incident in the locker room, emphasized by the way they’ve pointedly been avoiding each other. 

Donghyuck still thinks of Jeno’s words, the sweet undertones in them, the weight of his words are settled deep in Donghyuck’s chest, bringing him both warmth and adoration. 

“No idea. I thought you might know,” Donghyuck says and they stop in front of the door, knocking gently. 

“Come in,” comes Coach’s voice from inside.    
Jeno pushes the door open, letting Donghyuck go inside the room before he does. Coach Suh is seated in his chair and Coach Jung, the basketball coach, as well as Coach Kim, the track and field coach, are standing next to his desk, all three wearing slight smiles that fade the second Jeno opens the door. 

“Come, take a seat,” Coach Suh welcomes the two boys in, Donghyuck pushing the door shut behind them. “I just wanted to talk to the two of you, no pressure. You don’t have to be worried at all.”

Coach’s words do nearly nothing to ease Donghyuck’s tensions, but he knows that if Coach says to not be worried, then there’s likely nothing to be worried about. 

“The two of you are quite the deal among Sunset’s student-athletes,” Coach Jung says with a humorous smile. 

“Good luck with the championship! I hear semi finals are coming up soon! Honestly, I don’t care much for football season, I just want football and basketball season to be over so track season can start and I can have my favorite track stars back,” Coach Kim winks at Donghyuck and Jeno, before tapping Coach Jung’s arm. The two of them mutter a quiet goodbye to Coach Suh before heading out the door. 

Donghyuck grins, he loves Coach Kim. He knows that the three coaches, along with Mr. Lee, the music theory teacher, are close friends, but he’s never really seen them associate together at school. 

When the door slams shut behind the two teachers, leaving only Coach Suh and the two boys inside, Donghyuck notes the change on Coach Suh’s face. It’s miniscule, but there’s a tint of concern muddled with the usual sincerity in his eyes. 

“What did you want to talk to us about, Coach?” Jeno breaks the silence, at the same time as Donghyuck.    
“If this is about what happened in the locker room a few days ago—” Donghyuck cuts himself off when Coach raises a hand. 

“I thought I told the both of you to figure out this mess between the two of you,” Coach says, and Jeno and Donghyuck turn to each other in stunned silence, identical expressions of incredulity splayed on their faces. 

“We did!” Donghyuck protests and he sees Jeno nod through his peripheral vision. 

Coach shakes his head, clasping his hands together on the desk, leaning forward, “I may be getting old, but even I can see all the mess between the two of you. You two are like hot and cold. One day the two of you are best friends, Donghyuck is leading stretches and we have amazing teamwork, then the next day, you’re cold and practice feels like a prison where the two of you are waiting to see who will strike first and start the fight. Quite frankly, I thought I was clear in my instructions: figure out your situation before I have to do it for you.”

Coach’s words run over Donghyuck like a bucket of ice. He knows what Coach is saying, but he doesn’t quite agree.

“We do well in games. And we’re friends, friends fight all the time,” Donghyuck points out, feeling Jeno stiffen next to him. 

“We’ll fix it—” Jeno starts to say. 

Coach’s eyes soften, “Look. I know boys your age think everything is a competition and prefer to prove who’s the best out of the bunch, but the two of you have a really good dynamic out on the field. And with semi finals coming up, I know the two of you want to be at your best. And I know the two of you have your differences, but I hardly think it’s something you can’t overcome.”

“Yes, Coach,” Jeno says, looking down. 

Donghyuck runs his tongue over his teeth, taking in the words, “Jeno and I have our differences, I agree. But I think that does our dynamic well.”

Coach’s eyes widen and he straightens like he can’t believe what Donghyuck has just said. “Better? While the two of you are fighting? Donghyuck, I know you hate to be wrong, but I think we’ve lost every game where the two of you weren’t talking.”

“It’s not like we don’t talk during games. We leave our personal problems at home,” Jeno mutters.

“I agree. But your dynamic when you two are communicating is off the charts,” Coach says and pulls open his laptop, finding a document and turning his laptop towards us. 

It’s a spreadsheet of the team’s player stats; total yards ran, assists, and touchdowns — all divided by date and position. Donghyuck skims over the spreadsheet quickly, noticing that sure enough, every game that Donghyuck remembers his jealousy acting up are games that he severely underperformed in. 

He leans back in his chair, “Okay, I see your point. But it’s gotten better recently.”

Coach murmurs something under his breath, his tone exasperated before he pulls his laptop back and types quickly. He turns the laptop back towards Donghyuck and Jeno, this time with a video playing on the screen. He has a pointed look on his face, so Donghyuck pays attention to the screen.

The camera is following Donghyuck, and he instantly recognizes the footage as the away game that he’d talked to Jeno on the bus for the whole ride to the other school before the game. He remembers that game. They had won easily, and Coach’s point is clearly reinforced as Donghyuck watches himself sprint down the field with the ball tucked under his arm and catch pass after pass. This game was one of their best games of the whole season. Donghyuck knows the reason, and he knows Coach does as well. 

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t catch on to the fact that every game you play extra well in are games that you and Jeno are on good terms, did you?” Coach is looking at him expectantly, and Donghyuck sighs. It’s better to admit defeat, and he knows that there is truth to Coach’s words. 

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Donghyuck sighs, leaning back in his chair. 

“Good, I’m glad. What about you, Jeno?” Coach asks, turning to Jeno, who’s been quiet. 

Jeno shrugs before meeting Donghyuck’s eyes, “I agree. Donghyuck and I both play significantly better when we’re on good terms. I know it’s definitely true for me because that’s one less thing I have to worry about on the field.”

It feels like a punch to Donghyuck’s stomach, though deep down he knows it must be true. Jeno’s never had any reason to dislike Donghyuck, and he never did. Jeno’s been nothing but kind to Donghyuck since the day they met, and Donghyuck keeps finding new ways to fuck it up. 

“What do you suggest we do, Coach? I think it’s gotten better over the past couple of months, but you’re right, we need to be better for semis,” Donghyuck clears his throat and looks to Coach, ignoring Jeno’s burning stare at the side of his head. 

He knows it’s his fault, and he wants to be better. He’s not the same immature, envious kid he was before. And he’ll show that to Jeno. 

Coach clearly senses that something is different in the air between the two boys, as his eyes flicker from Jeno to Donghyuck to back again, but he doesn’t say anything on the matter.

“Spend more time together. That’s all you have to do. The two of you will hopefully like each other more, but beyond that, you’ll know each other better and it should help your teamwork. And if you decide to get into another fight, please just wait until after the semi-finals. Hopefully this will solve some of the. . .tension between the two of you,” Coach says, closing his laptop and turning straight to Donghyuck. “Just talk like friends do. I know it’ll pay off, and I have no doubts that the two of you will come out of this as best friends.”

Donghyuck isn’t quite sure of that, but he’s willing to try. Anything for the game, right? “Okay, I’ll do it.”   
Coach grins and gives him an approving nod before he turns to Jeno, “Are you willing to try?”

Jeno sighs, he looks more hesitant than Donghyuck is, and a pang of hurt ebbs through Donghyuck, though he knows it’s all his own doing. 

Finally, he nods, managing an uncertain smile directed first at Coach, then he swings it to Donghyuck; it’s a shy smile, but it causes Donghyuck’s heart to flutter all the same. “I’m in.”

Donghyuck feels a grin of his own split across his lips and he fist pumps the air, “State championship, we’re coming to get you!”

Coach scoffs at Donghyuck like he’s irritated, but the endearing affection in his eyes tells Donghyuck otherwise. “All right, you two. You can head back now. Maybe you can start by eating lunch together.”

Jeno laughs at Coach’s sentence, “We already do. With our other friends.”

Coach looks stricken, “Maybe this will be more difficult than I thought.”

Donghyuck, though, is in a great mood now, “No, we’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

He and Jeno stand, and Donghyuck throws an arm around Jeno’s shoulder, squeezing him quickly before letting him go. Jeno looks at him weirdly, but Donghyuck pays it no attention. 

“Bye, Coach! We’ll see you at practice,” he says, pulling the door open for Jeno before waving one last time at Coach, catching the older man shaking his head, a wide smile on his face, before the door closes. 

Donghyuck feels like he’s just gotten the best news of his lifetime. He’s not even sure why, it’s not like he and Jeno couldn’t have been friends before this. But maybe this is the push he needed to leave his indecisive behavior in the past and just embrace the fact that he genuinely admired Jeno and wouldn’t mind being his friend. Maybe this is the time for him to finally acknowledge the way he feels when Jeno smiles at him on the field after an especially good play or the way his heart expands when Jeno helps him during chem class. 

“Jeno, wait,” Donghyuck sobers up, lightly tapping Jeno’s wrist. 

Jeno turns, looking at him expectantly. Lunch is almost over, there are significantly fewer people in the hallways, and it’s much quieter.

“I’m sorry, again, for how I’ve treated you. I really wanna be better this time. I’m not gonna fuck it up,” Donghyuck says, his hand still loosely circled around Jeno’s wrist.    
Jeno smiles softly; it goes straight to Donghyuck’s heart, “I know, Hyuck. I trust you. But I’m gonna need a little bit of time.”

Donghyuck nods, letting his hand fall back to his side, “Okay. Whatever you need.”

Jeno shuffles awkwardly, “I’ll see you in chem?”

“See you then,” Donghyuck says, watching Jeno walk away. 

It’s one step forward, Donghyuck tells himself, and that’s what matters. 

—

Jeno is true to his word. Jeno avoids him to the best of his ability, save for chem and practice. They’re civil, but any and all interaction is stiff and makes Donghyuck uneasy. Three days later, Jeno reaches out and asks Donghyuck to study at Starbucks together. 

Jeno’s warmed up to Donghyuck again, and it fills Donghyuck up with an indescribable bliss. Donghyuck is slowly coming to terms with his own feelings regarding Jeno, but for right now, he just wants to bask in the warmth of Jeno’s attention without jumping to conclusions. 

He hops out of the car, grabbing his backpack out of the backseat, waiting for Jeno to join him in front of the car. They make their way inside the Starbucks, Jeno recounting a funny story from his drafting class. 

Donghyuck laughs, he’s not fully paying attention to Jeno’s words, but his tone is humorous and his face is light and filled with joy, and Donghyuck is happy. This is what he wants, and he’s finally moving in the right direction. 

“I’ll get the coffee, you wanna grab a table?” Jeno suggests, heading towards the line when Donghyuck nods. 

“Wait! I’ll take your bag with me,” Donghyuck says, holding an arm out as Jeno pauses.

When he turns, Jeno’s cheeks are slightly flushed and he’s biting at his lip. There’s something else in his eyes, but it only lasts a second before it passes through. Jeno nods, and if Donghyuck didn’t know Jeno as well as he does, he’d think that he was being shy. Donghyuck takes Jeno’s bag, slightly huffing out a breath as he adjusts to the added weight before turning, scanning the room for an open table.

“Thanks, Donghyuck,” he hears Jeno’s soft voice and he can’t help the smile that pushes its way on his lips as he starts walking towards a table near the window. 

“No problem.”

Donghyuck drops Jeno’s bag on one side of the booth before rounding the table to the other side. He puts his bag down just as his eyes catch on a familiar figure.  _ Four _ familiar figures, that is.

They’re sitting two booths down from the table Donghyuck just got for him and Jeno, and all of them are doing their best to act casual, but Donghyuck can see the lightly-concealed panic in each of their eyes. 

Now, Donghyuck is not oblivious in any sense of the word, but he still can’t help but be somewhat confused as he marches over to the table, putting a hand down on the table to gain their attention. 

Mark and Yukhei both look up first, eliciting an angry whisper from Renjun. Mark looks guilty and Yukhei just looks sheepishly panicked. Jaemin’s eyes are trained on his cup of coffee and Renjun slowly lifts his eyes to meet Donghyuck. 

Renjun’s eyes look shielded to anyone else who might stumble upon him, but Donghyuck has known him for far too long to be fooled. Renjun can lie flawlessly to anyone but Donghyuck. Or so he thought. 

A single glance into Renjun’s eyes tells him everything he needs to know and he backtracks a step, hurt colliding with disbelief in his stomach, until he’s sure his eyes are as wide as saucers and his jaw’s on the floor. 

“No way,” he breathes, his eyes flickering from Mark to Jaemin, the two sitting across from each other, to Renjun and Yukhei. “No fucking way.”

He doesn’t realize he’s still backing up till he collides with a hard chest and cold seeps through his shirt. He looks down, where a tiny bit of iced coffee has spilled onto his white shirt. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, his mind whirling.

“Donghyuck, are you okay?” Jeno sets their coffees down on the table, grabbing a couple napkins from beside Jaemin, leaning close to Donghyuck to dab at his arm, where a small spot of light brown is forming.

“I’m good, Jeno. Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going. Good thing it wasn’t warm coffee,” Donghyuck replies, though it’s like his mouth is acting on its own, because he isn’t aware of what he’s saying. He briefly wonders if he’s concussed again, since he can’t seem to think straight anymore.   
“Jaem? Yukhei? What’s up, didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Jeno waves, clearly delighted at seeing his friends.

Donghyuck wishes he was just as happy. Instead, there’s a knife in his gut laced with hurt that keeps stabbing him over and over. 

Everything is falling in place. All the signs that he ignored, told himself to forget about are all coming back to him, coming together to form the perfect puzzle, all completed. He understands why everyone was so comfortable with each other when they had come to visit him after his concussion. He realizes who Mark and Renjun were texting all those times Donghyuck had caught them, and he realizes why Yukhei was talking to Renjun right after Donghyuck had gotten his concussion. If he recalls, all the way back to one of the beginning games, Renjun had been coordinating his schedule with someone else’s, someone else who played football. Donghyuck had assumed it was Jeno, but it had actually been Yukhei.

The worst part is that he likes Yukhei and Jaemin. Both of them are nice. Yukhei is funny and Jeno always smiles sweetly when he talks about him, and Jaemin is nice, though he looks intimidating at first. Donghyuck likes them, and he has no problem with his best friends dating them, which makes it worse when he realizes his friends thought they had to hide it from him. 

“Donghyuck? Donghyuck, what’s wrong?” Jeno’s snapping his fingers in front of Donghyuck’s face, looking at him intently. He sighs with relief when Donghyuck finally responds by pushing Jeno’s hand out of his face. 

He whirls back to his friends, both of them looking at Donghyuck with helplessly guilty expressions. 

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Donghyuck snaps, crossing his arms. He knows he’s being unreasonable, but the hurt in his stomach at being left out evokes the big green emotion that Donghyuck has spent so much time trying to get over. 

“Donghyuck. . .” Renjun starts, and when Donghyuck meets his eyes, Renjun’s are glistening with tears. 

His envy subsides a bit and he knows he’s being unfair, but he’s still hurt. 

He clenches his jaw, rolling his tongue around his mouth as he stares at the ceiling, calming himself down before he does something rash. He pulls over a chair from an empty table nearby and sits down, clasping his hands tightly on top of the table. Jeno’s hovering right behind him, and he feels Jeno’s hand rest on his shoulder, squeezing once for comfort. 

“Why did you hide it from me? Did you think I’d be mad at you? Did you think I’d say you couldn’t see him?” Donghyuck asks bitterly, his eyes going from Mark to Renjun. 

“No! Well, I don’t know, Donghyuck. Would you? You acted like an ass to Jeno for a year! How would I know you wouldn’t hate his friends just as much as you hate him?” Renjun’s words are no less cruel than Donghyuck’s—he’d never back down from Donghyuck—though his voice is starting to waver. 

“I just wanna know why you went through such big lengths to hide it from me. You guys met up before and after football games and made sure I never saw you guys together. What did you think I’d do?” Donghyuck bites his lip, savoring the grounding feeling the sharp pain brings him. 

“You hated Jeno at the beginning of the year, and we didn’t want to make you pick sides, Donghyuck. Try to understand,” Mark says, a fire in his eyes that’s rarely ever seen by anyone, and never directed at Donghyuck. His voice is sharp, and it pierces Donghyuck’s heart, reminding him that yes, this was true. Donghyuck acted impulsively, and a couple months ago, he would’ve hated the idea of his friends with Jeno’s friends.

“I hate that you guys thought that I’d be mad,” Donghyuck mumbles, sagging back as all the fight seeps out of his body. He picks up the iced coffee Jeno had gotten him, taking a sip to ease the uneasy feeling that came with exposing his feelings. 

And just like that, Donghyuck watches the fire leave his friends’ eyes, both Renjun and Mark softening as they lean forward, closer to him. Jeno’s grip on his shoulder softens as well, and Jaemin and Yukhei look up, offering comforting smiles. 

Donghyuck hates that he’s still feeling hurt over something that clearly is affecting his friends just as much as it affects him. He takes a second to pull himself together before straightening.

“I’m happy for you guys, alright? You guys look good together,” Donghyuck says and smiles when Jaemin and Yukhei let out sighs of relief.    
Mark leans across the table, placing his hand in Jaemin’s, and Yukhei grins widely at Renjun. 

“We’re sorry for keeping it from you this long. Mark never wanted to, but I wanted to make sure it was real before telling you, and then you and Jeno had just started being friendly, so I didn’t want to fuck that up, and then it just seemed like there was never a good time to tell you. We were planning on coming clean after state,” Renjun says and Donghyuck rolls his eyes. 

“You really only have that much faith in me? What, did you think I’d get distracted because I’m the only single one of us now?” he asks, though there’s a smile on his face and he’s clearly teasing. 

“Shut the hell up,” Renjun rolls his eyes, “I doubt you’ll be single for long.”   
Donghyuck nearly chokes on his coffee when Renjun winks at Jeno, a sly smirk spreading across his lips. Donghyuck doesn’t need to look behind him to know that Jeno’s blushing bright red, and he can feel his own cheeks burning up as he kicks Renjun’s leg under the table.    
“Okay, that’s enough,” Mark interjects, “Why were the two of you here anyway?”   
“We were gonna do homework,” Jeno supplies when Donghyuck opts to send a death glare at Renjun instead of answering Mark’s question. 

“Do you guys wanna join us, then? We were gonna head back to mine to work on homework?” Mark asks hopefully, and Donghyuck can just see how much he wanted all of them to be together. 

Donghyuck looks at Jeno who gives him an affirming nod, “Sure, why not?”

“Okay, cool. I’ve got so much to tell you, Hyuck. But maybe another time,” Mark says when Jaemin shoots him a scandalized look. Donghyuck makes a mental note to ask Mark how he and Jaemin got together. 

“Oh, I’m so glad the two of you aren’t mad at each other. Renjun is always going on about you and I don’t want him to be mad. He’s scary as shit when he’s mad,” Yukhei blurts like he’s been waiting to speak, and he shudders at the thought of Renjun being mad. 

Donghyuck scoffs, “Yeah, Renjun is scary when he’s mad. I agree for sure.”   
“Whatever. Can we get started on homework? I’ve got a bio reading I’ll make one of you do for me if you don’t start being nice,” Renjun gets up and starts towards the door.

“I like bio, you know I’d do it for you if you asked,” Yukhei calls after him, immediately getting up to follow. 

“That’s gross,” Jaemin comments, standing as well, holding out a hand for Mark. 

“Ready to go?” Jeno looks down at him, holding his coffee out for him. 

Donghyuck grins, grabbing both his and Jeno’s backpacks, “Yeah. Let’s go.”

—

The locker room’s atmosphere is different today. It’s quieter, but in a subtle way. Everything is still normal — there’s still commotion coming from the underclassmen side of the locker room, 

Donghyuck’s gaze flits over to Jeno, who’s at his own locker across from Donghyuck’s. 

“You nervous?” he asks as he pulls on his shoulder pads. Jeno’s movements are slower, controlled, and Donghyuck wouldn’t think he’s nervous if it weren’t for Jeno’s fingers, shaking slightly as he pulls his jersey on. 

Jeno’s eyes meet Donghyuck’s own, and he’s met with a flurry of emotions in his heart. 

It’s been a few days since Donghyuck has come to the sudden realization that he likes Jeno, and it’s taken a couple more days for him to grasp the intensity of his feelings. Now, everytime he looks at Jeno, he feels like there’s a pink heart filter put over his eyesight that only works on Jeno. He’s constantly realizing just how good Jeno looks out on the field, fully geared up to play, and how smart he is when he and Donghyuck work on homework together. 

He has an inkling of how Jeno may feel, but for once in his life, he doesn’t want to act on impulse and completely ruin things between them. 

“Nah, not really. It’s just like any other game,” Jeno says, but Donghyuck can see right through his act.    
“You’re nervous.”   
This time, Jeno nods, biting his lip as he pauses from where he’s tucking his jersey into his pants. “I’m nervous because this may be the last game we ever play. But I’m not nervous about losing. We’ll be fine out there.”

Jeno’s voice is firm, steady, and it takes Donghyuck a second to register that Jeno is using his leader voice instead of just his friend voice. It’s strange, but Donghyuck likes seeing Jeno so confident in their team. 

“We won’t let you down, Cap,” Jisung comes up to the two of them, throwing an arm over Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“You ready, Sungie? This is gonna be the best game of your junior year,” Donghyuck ruffles Jisung’s hair before letting go and putting his cleats on.

“Better than the time we made it to state my freshman year?” Jisung’s cocking an eyebrow, grinning when Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Chenle and I are heading out. See you out there, Cap.”   
“See ya, Sung,” Jeno nods before grabbing his own helmet. 

“We’re gonna kick ass, Hyuck. You ready for that?” Jeno’s eyes are burning — with what, Donghyuck isn’t sure. Maybe it’s euphoria or motivation or adrenaline — and Donghyuck hops up. He’s energized as he grabs his helmet and joins Jeno on his way out onto the field. 

“Always,” Donghyuck knocks his shoulder with Jeno’s, ignoring the way his heart jumps with excitement at the contact. 

It’s an unusually warm day for late November, but Donghyuck is grateful for the lack of wind today. It’s warm enough that it’s pleasant without a jacket or anything, and it’s cool enough that Donghyuck will not be sweating buckets by halftime. 

People are starting to file into the stadium, though it’s still pretty early before the game. He catches sight of Renjun and Mark, both of them in their familiar sun costumes. He looks up a couple rows, and Jaemin and Yukhei are there to cheer them on as well, decked out in golden Sunset gear, most likely borrowed from their respective boyfriends. It’s a grounding sight, and he waves to his friends and savors their proud expressions before looking down at the parents section. 

His parents had told him they’d be here, especially since Aeri and Beomsun had really wanted to come to watch. Dongmin doesn’t really care for football, but Donghyuck knows he’d be excited to come just to see Donghyuck. 

He scans the rows, coming up empty, before his eyes settle on a small girl, hair tied in two pigtails, standing at the concession stand with an older boy, holding two bags of chips and a Gatorade. Aeri and Beomsun. Donghyuck’s stomach lifts, more adrenaline hitting his veins and less nerves making him jumpy. He looks back at the bleachers, his eyes finding his parents sitting close to the bottom. Dongmin is nestled between them, his head buried in his phone, and none of them notice Donghyuck looking up at them, but Donghyuck still smiles before turning back to his team, warmth surrounding Donghyuck in the form of support.

Warmups pass by quickly, and before Donghyuck can really register it, they’re already lined up on the field and the referee is blowing her whistle, starting the game off. Sunset is starting the game off on defense, so Donghyuck is somewhat relaxed. They’re good at defense, and it gives their offensive line a chance to save energy for later in the game. 

Sunset is playing well today. They’re on home turf, so everyone on their team is more comfortable, and everyone seems to be at the top of their game today. Passes are flawless, hard tackles are to a minimum when they’re on offense, and Donghyuck thoroughly enjoys playing.

It’s hard to say what Donghyuck loves the most about football. Maybe it’s the adrenaline rush he gets when he steps onto the field, hearing cheers for him and his team. Maybe it’s the physical aspect of it — he won’t lie, it’s thrilling to tackle people and it’s a good way to get rid of his energy. Maybe it’s the constant time he’s allowed to spend with his friends through the game. He’s sure it’s a combination of all of these, but right now, as Donghyuck is sprinting down the sideline, thighs burning and chest heaving — he’s struggling to get to Jeno’s pass in time — he thinks Jeno is the best part of the game. 

Under his helmet, Jeno’s eyes are set and he takes on each opponent with a calculated approach, dodging at the last minute, avoiding being tackled. The atmosphere is almost magical to Donghyuck. 

It’s magical in a different way than art is for Donghyuck. Both art and football are both things that he’s chosen to create a responsibility out of, instead of just keeping it as solely a hobby, and he won’t lie, he’s almost always uninspired for one activity or the other. But where art is eventual gratification, football is instantly gratifying. It burns in Donghyuck’s veins, the rush everytime they score a touchdown or gain a couple yards on the field. It’s instant gratification to whoever is the best, and there’s nothing Donghyuck likes more than being the best. 

Donghyuck jumps for the ball, yanking it out of the air and making it a decent number of yards before he’s pushed down, though he still has the ball in his possession. As he stands, tossing the ball back to Jisung, he promises himself: If this is his last game, he’ll make it the best. No regrets. 

It’s a horribly cheesy promise, but it energizes Donghyuck and he hops from foot to foot as he waits for the hut. 

The second half presses on quickly, and Donghyuck feels like every second of the game is more precious than the last. They’re still losing by a single field goal. 

Donghyuck knows this game must be special. In usual games, Donghyuck would be losing energy with every failed catch and pass, but instead, he’s gaining more and more energy until he feels like he’s bouncing with each step. He can feel all the energy throbbing through him, all concentrated in his leg and arm muscles. He’s ready to win. He’s ready to make his family proud. He’s ready for a victory dance with Jeno at his side. 

He sat out for half of second quarter and a portion of third, so he’s ready to power through for the last quarter. He’s going to put everything he has in it. Sunset’s putting one hell of a game up, and Donghyuck knows that despite whatever the scoreboard or refs say at the end of the game, this will be one of the best games that Sunset High has ever played. 

Donghyuck still wants a win, though. So he does his best, coordinating with Jeno, grabbing passes out of the air and lobbing them down the field, or running with them as far as he can. 

It turns out his best is still not good enough. As the clock ticks down, Sunset is still behind by three points, by a singular field goal. Donghyuck is determined to get another touchdown, but he’s getting irritated by getting blocked every time he gets the ball. 

The other team is starting to play dirty, but Jeno keeps calling out their simplest plays. Donghyuck isn’t sure why, but he sure as hell knows they won’t win if they keep playing like this. 

The referee blows her whistle, signaling a foul to the other team. Donghyuck tightens his jaw as he watches Yangyang get up, wincing as he rolls his shoulder, stretching it out gently, before joining the formation. 

The game goes on like that for most of the fourth quarter. Jeno calls out straightforward plays that don’t allow them to advance as much as Donghyuck would like, and the other team plays particularly nasty towards Jeno. 

When someone from the other team tackles Jeno and gets all up in his face about it, Donghyuck is the first to run up and shove the other player away. The ref doesn’t call a foul for it, and Donghyuck is positively enraged at this point. He and everyone else in the entire stadium saw what had happened and the ref still doesn’t call a foul. 

They line back up, getting ready for the last couple seconds of the game. Sunset is close to the end zone, and Donghyuck believes they can score if Jeno chooses a good play. There are only eight seconds on the clock, so they have zero time to waste with fumbles and unnecessary tackles.

Jeno taps his helmet, signaling the team of a play change. Donghyuck watches to see what Jeno mouths, nodding once when he makes out the words ‘double pass’. 

When the play starts, as soon as Jisung snaps the ball back, Donghyuck spreads out wide, waiting for Jeno’s quick pass. Jeno fakes a step towards Yangyang then catapults the ball straight into Donghyuck’s waiting hands. In this play, his next step is to pass forward to Seungmin, their halfback. But defense had run over to Yangyang, and there’s space straight down the field for Donghyuck to run with the ball. 

Donghyuck hesitates for a tiny millisecond, then he’s off, ignoring whatever calls of protest he hears from behind him. 

He’s gaining ground, the spray-painted gold turf looking so welcoming to Donghyuck’s worn-down body and heart. He hears footfalls behind him, getting louder as he dodges another near tackle. He pushes his legs harder, feeling like he’s been running for minutes and not making any progress. He’s ten yards away, then eight, then three, and then—

He feels a hand graze his foot, touching him lightly, but at this momentum, any contact is bad contact. He stumbles, but he’s so close. He pushes forward, leaping with whatever momentum he has left. He goes down, but it’s clear. His hands, including the football, are over the goal line. He makes contact with the turf, hard, but he’s back up in a heartbeat, slamming the ball down triumphantly just as the whistle blows through. 

He turns, pulling his helmet off and shaking the sweat and hair out of his eyes as he looks at the scoreboard. 

_ 35-31. _ They won. They did it. They were going to state. They were going to finals. 

Donghyuck heaves a big breath, turning back around, unconsciously looking for his teammates. 

Jeno is the nearest to him, and he’s running, yanking out his mouthguard and pulling off his helmet. He gets to Donghyuck in a couple of seconds, grabbing the sides of Donghyuck’s face, and planting his lips onto Donghyuck’s softly. There’s room for Donghyuck to push back, to shove Jeno away if he wants, but it only takes Donghyuck a second to process what’s happening, and his mouth responds before his brain does. 

Donghyuck grips his helmet with one hand, letting the other cradle Jeno’s cheek as he kisses back. It’s a short kiss, it only lasts a couple of seconds, tasting strongly of sweat and grass and the cotton of their jerseys, but Donghyuck can feel every one of Jeno’s emotions. Jeno’s frustration at Donghyuck deviating from the original play, his pride in their team, his elation at the fact they are going to finals — everything is crystal clear, laid out for Donghyuck to see. 

They separate when their other teammates catch up, crushing both Donghyuck and Jeno in a tight hug. It smells musty, it’s hot and there is absolutely no air for Donghyuck to breathe in, but he feels like every one of his neurons are all firing at the same time. The overstimulation is too much, but at the same time, it’s exactly what he needs. His team is yelling, triumphant whoops and cheers. He beams, taking in as much of the moment as he can. Nothing will take away this feeling, not even Jeno, whose cleat is painfully on top of Donghyuck’s own. 

No regrets, he’d told himself. He’s done exactly that. 

—

“How did you guys meet, anyway?” Donghyuck asks, putting his chin on his upturned palm as he looks at Mark and Jaemin, both of them turning bright red at the question. Jaemin recovers quickly, and he turns to Mark, a teasing smile on his lips. 

“How  _ did _ we meet, Mark?”

“Shut up,” Mark pushes Jaemin, rolling his eyes at the flick he receives in return. “You know that sports camp for middle schoolers that I helped out with over the summer? Jaemin came up to me every day and told me a different pickup line. I didn’t get it for like 2 weeks, until Jaemin finally told me that he was trying to ask me out.”

Jaemin grins affectionately, reaching over and flicking Mark’s ear, “You were so cute.”

Donghyuck’s eyes bulge, “That long? You’ve never kept a secret from me for that long!”

Mark shrugs, “I didn’t want you to be angry. You still hated Jeno back then.”

“And what a complete 180 that took,” Jaemin laughs at Donghyuck’s offput expression. 

“Why does everyone always say that I’m the one who hates him? I’m sure he hated me back at one point. And I never hated him. I was jealous, there’s a difference,” Donghyuck pouts. 

Renjun scoffs from where he and Yukhei are sitting on Renjun’s bed, both of them sketching. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, Hyuck. Did you not see the way he kissed you at semis? That boy hasn’t ever hated you. Or even disliked you.”   
“No, there’s no way.”   
“You’re an idiot, Donghyuck,” Yukhei chimes in, though there’s a friendly smile on his face, “Jeno’s liked you since day one. You hated him while he had the biggest crush on you. And clearly his crush hasn’t faded.”   
“That long?” Donghyuck echoes, though his stomach inflates and deflates rapidly. He’s going to be sick.    
“That long,” Jaemin confirms with a sly smile, “Jeno practically fell in love with you the day we went to the carnival sophomore year and everyone was gushing about you.”   
Donghyuck’s going to be sick. 

“No fucking way,” he manages before he finds his phone, immediately calling Jeno, leaving the room to echoes of laughter. 

—

“How’s your head?” Donghyuck’s mom inquires as she takes a seat on the bench next to him at the kitchen island.

Donghyuck nods, he’d gotten hit a bit hard at practice, and had left with the biggest headache, but Jeno had driven him home, dropping him off with a kiss on the forehead and an explanation to his mom. 

“Fine, I promise. Water is working wonders for me,” Donghyuck assures his mother, taking a long gulp of the water his mom has already refilled twice in the twenty minutes he’s been home. 

“Good,” his mom ruffles Donghyuck’s hair quickly, standing back up and going around the island to retrieve a pile of papers from a drawer.

“Can we talk? The three of us? We haven’t been able to have a proper conversation since before your semifinal game,” his mom locks him in place with a sharp look.

Donghyuck has been avoiding his mother and father since the semifinal game last week. He has no idea whether or not they had seen him and Jeno kiss at the end of the game, and he really has no urge to tell them about it. 

Whatever’s going on with him and Jeno, Donghyuck is enjoying it. He and Jeno have devised a schedule together; they’d meet up for homework dates at Starbucks and hangouts at either his or Jeno’s house and if they couldn’t meet, a facetime call for a few hours would suffice. 

It’s been everything Donghyuck has wanted. Jeno’s been happy too, beaming when Donghyuck gives him a ride to Starbucks or to Renjun’s house when they hangout. It’s been a little over a week, but Donghyuck feels like it’s been ages. He’s learned so much about Jeno in this small portion of time. There’s hurt, of course, when Donghyuck thinks about all the missed time caused by his foolish stubbornness. But there’s nothing he can do about it now, except make up for lost time and move forward. 

Donghyuck doesn’t actually think that much has changed since he and Jeno became real friends. Except the kissing. They’ve been doing a  _ lot _ of kissing, and Donghyuck can’t get enough of Jeno’s lips. 

Their friends have had a great time teasing Donghyuck — for both his idiocy and his jealousy. Donghyuck can’t get mad at that, but he’s done his own fair share of teasing. Especially Renjun. 

“Donghyuck, sweetie. Come on, your father and I just want to have a conversation with you. You don’t need to make that face, you knew we would eventually have to talk,” his mother taps his shoulder before she makes her way into the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to Donghyuck’s dad. 

Donghyuck groans, glaring at the cup of water as if it was at fault for the no-doubt embarrassing conversation that was about to take place. 

He drags his feet to the living room, dropping into the recliner, not making eye contact with his parents. 

“Donghyuck,” his father sighs. 

Donghyuck looks up before he can stop himself. He hadn’t expected his  _ father _ to be the one chewing him out for this. He had always been the more accepting parent. 

Donghyuck’s dad has a teasing smile on his face, though, “Jeno’s a nice guy. I wanna know, though, how long has this been going on?”   
“That was the beginning. There was nothing between us before that,” Donghyuck wants to erase this whole conversation from happening, he wants to banish it from his memory. 

His dad nods, “Okay. Well, you should invite him over for dinner sometime.”

Donnghyuck’s eyebrows narrow. He feels like there should be something else, some type of reprimand or chastising happening. 

“Maybe tone it down for the state game? I’m not sure anyone else wants to see that,” his mom sends him a firm look, though it’s bright and there’s nothing but exasperation in them. 

“ _ Mom, _ ” Donghyuck groans, burying his face in his hands, waiting for the familiar warmth in his cheeks to die down. 

“Sorry, honey, it’s the truth though. I had something else to talk to you about as well.”

Donghyuck straightens, his eyes landing on the stack of papers in his mom’s hands. He resists the urge to get up and just walk away, knowing that he should at least hear his mom out. 

His mother must be better at reading Donghyuck’s face than he thought because her own face softens and she reaches out to place a hand on his knee. 

“I found a school that I think you’ll want to apply to. I know you want to pursue art, and I— I support that,” her face is still soft, voice honey-sweet in a way Donghyuck hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear. 

“But I want you to have a backup plan. I know you can go in and one hundred percent commit to things, but I’m not like that. But I want you to do what makes you happy, so I found this school for you.”

She thrusts the papers into Donghyuck’s hand, and Donghyuck takes note of the way she had just rambled on. It was unlike his mother to do that, a telltale sign of nervousness. 

He takes the papers, flipping through a colorful brochure, taking note of the majors. The brochure highlighted the art and engineering programs. He looked up, eyes full of surprise, only to find his parents already smiling at him, mirrored affectionate looks on their faces.

“Just think about it. Maybe you can apply, there’s no commitment involved, and you don’t have to go there if you get in. But think about it,” his mom says, and Donghyuck slowly nods. 

“I’ll think about it,” he promises, making his way up, collecting the papers to head upstairs to his room. 

“One more thing, Donghyuck.”   
He turns, wondering what else they had to say to him. He thought they’d covered everything they needed to. 

“We’re proud of you, Donghyuck. You played really well last week. And your siblings loved watching you,” his mom tells him.

If this conversation was taking place even two weeks ago, Donghyuck would spit back a retort that went something like, ‘maybe if you came to more games,  _ my siblings _ could have that experience every week’.

But Donghyuck bites his lip, nodding instead. He knows his parents are working on meeting Donghyuck in the middle, and it would take time until they see eye to eye with him.

“You guys better be there at state. If they loved semis, state is gonna be out of this world,” Donghyuck grins before jogging up the stairs, exhaling hard after closing the door behind him. 

He looks down at the papers his mom had given him, everything laid out in front of him, from the residence hall options to the study abroad opportunities. 

His mom’s voice echoes in his head.  _ We’re proud of you, Donghyuck.  _

It’s a start towards something better. 

—

“Is it alright if I hang out here for a few hours?” Jeno asks when Donghyuck opens the door. 

Jeno’s dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, his socked feet in a pair of slides, his backpack slung over one shoulder. 

His eyes are downturned, and Donghyuck knows something is up, if not by Jeno’s unusual choice of footwear, then definitely by his face. 

“Yeah, come in. Are you good?” Donghyuck asks, standing aside to let Jeno in. 

Jeno shrugs, “I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Okay, let me get you something to drink. I’ll meet you in my room,” Donghyuck nods, taking off towards the kitchen, hearing Jeno’s slow footsteps as he ascends the stairs. 

Donghyuck tries not to worry as he digs through his fridge for the cherry flavored Gatorade he knows is in there somewhere. He runs through all the possibilities of what’s up with Jeno: he and Jeno are doing well, maybe Jeno’s stressed for their state game? But why was he dressed so . . . unlike Jeno? Donghyuck has only seen Jeno wear slides on one other occasion, and that was only because Jeno had been washing all his sneakers. 

It’s strange, but Donghyuck decides that he won’t press until Jeno is ready to tell him. 

When he opens the door to his room, Jeno’s flopped onto his bed, his hands rubbing down his face somewhat roughly. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck rushes over to the bed, dropping the Gatorade on the bed before taking a seat next to Jeno, gently pulling his hands away from his face, “What’s wrong, Jen?”

Jeno’s eyes are red and his hands shake as he pulls himself upright, “I’m good. I’m fine. I just need a second.”   
“Whatever you want, Jeno,” Donghyuck stands to go find a box of tissues, but Jeno reaches out, his hand clasping around Donghyuck’s wrist. 

“Stay.”   
Donghyuck obliges, no questions asked. He gets comfortable, wrapping his arms around Jeno, who snuggles into the crook of Donghyuck’s neck. It’s warm, and Donghyuck mindlessly starts running his fingers through Jeno’s hair.    
“My parents are splitting up,” Jeno says after a couple minutes. His breathing has evened out, he’s much calmer. 

“What? I’m sorry, that must be hard,” Donghyuck tightens his grip around Jeno’s waist.

“It’s fine. It should’ve happened a long time ago. My parents, they’ve wanted to separate since when my brother was in high school, so for like five years. They decided to wait till both of us graduated high school — I don’t know why, it was a shitty decision — but they just started seeing a lawyer for the technical stuff and it just hit me. I’m not sad about it, they’ve basically ignored each other for five years, but it’s just sinking in,” Jeno’s voice is steady, though he has his eyes shut firmly. 

Donghyuck pushes a few locks of hair out of Jeno’s eyes, “You’re strong for going through this.”

Jeno sighs, “I hate being in the house. It’s always quiet, it never really feels like home. My parents are always in separate rooms, and I’m always stuck in the middle, like a fucking messenger.”

He takes a second, breathing in deep, “But that’s kinda why I asked to do homework with you so often. I wanted to spend more time with you, and less time at my house.”   
“You can always hang out with me, Jeno,” Donghyuck says, pulling himself up on one elbow, kissing him softly, making sure Jeno nods before laying back down. 

“Thanks, Hyuck. ‘Preciate it,” Jeno’s eyes close again and his breathing evens out again, before he drifts off. 

They spend the whole afternoon playing video games after their nap, Donghyuck doing whatever he can to make Jeno smile. It takes a bit, but Jeno is soon in a good mood again, laughing every time his player in the game successfully kills off Donghyuck. Even when they’re on the same team. 

“Don’t be an asshole, Jen. We’re on the same team!” Donghyuck yells when Jeno kills his player for the third time, though a smile is creeping up onto his face. 

Jeno’s sitting on the beanbag and Donghyuck is settled in between his legs, on the floor, and though Donghyuck has to crane his neck in an awkward position to see the TV, he’d be content with sitting like this forever.

“Sorry,” Jeno pouts and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “How can I make it up to you?”

Donghyuck smirks, “One kiss for every time you’ve killed me.”   
Jeno leans down, cradling Donghyuck’s head in his hands, pulling him back so he’s upside down. Jeno presses a wet, sloppy kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead, then his nose, then his mouth. It’s quick but familiar, and Donghyuck leans into Jeno’s mouth. Familiar is good, comforting. Donghyuck loves it.

(“So your life isn’t always perfect?” Donghyuck teases later, when the two are just lounging on Donghyuck’s bed. 

Jeno shakes his head, reaching to grab Donghyuck’s hand, an equally playful smile on his face, “No. Of course not. I got a B on our chem test yesterday.”)

—

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you liked football players nohyuck just as much as i do! feel free to leave a comment/kudos if you liked this fic <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/HAECHZENS)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/honeyshyuck)


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